EMPATHY

My son is very sick with some disease which is rare and there is no cure.  The disease involves his muscles so that he tires easily and suffers from severe muscle pain that can only be controlled with serious pain killers such as oxycotin and morphine.  I feel very sorry for him as I know I should but somehow I believe my feelings are not as deep as they probably should be – and that worries me. 

Like they say about the definition of empathy ‘is to feel someone’s pain’.  I can not do that but I try besides at my age I have enough pain without feeling more from somebody else.  The week of the commemoration of President Kennedy’s death showed some old film clips many women and some men are showing intense grief by intense crying with tears running down their cheeks.  I suppose this is a sign of empathy toward the recent widow.

I remember hearing over the radio of Kennedy’s death when I was working in a laboratory at the University of California at Davis.  I was of course shocked as was everyone but I did not cry so I guess I showed no signs of empathy.

The next day I went pheasant hunting with good friends who came down from Northern California to join me.  I was able to get some good hunting land from a friend I knew.  Good pheasant hunting grounds are a valuable commodity and especially in California when fewer owners will allow hunting on their property.  I suppose now 50 years later it is even more difficult. 

I would not know because some forty some years ago I moved to Texas as I found much better employment here.  Now finding better employment in Texas as opposed to California is indeed a rarity for many reasons.  But, my new job was with the Federal Government and had nothing directly to do with the State of Texas.  In addition, my friends who I hunted with have died. 

I remember discussing the President’s death with them.  The father of my best friend certainly did not show any empathy when he noted that the President had been killed with a ‘lead vote’.  Now, that was a callous remark and somewhat surprising to me because he was a kind and generous man.  In many ways I learned more from him than I did my father and during college and after he was more involved with my life than was my father.

FEAR OF DYING

Why do I write these Blogs?  I have asked myself that and I have come to the conclusion that I do so because it helps me understand problems that I am confronting.  Certainly old age has it problems and by writing these Blogs on Old Age I find it rewarding for it helps me understand what I am living through.

So, let’s write about death – yes my death. Death is an interesting subject.  I suspect most everyone including myself didn’t think much about it until they reach an age when they began to see their friends dying of conditions linked with old age.  Being a survivor so far of old age, and survival is in our DNA, does have its benefits but like it has been said growing old is not for sissies. In fact growing old is tough work but of course the alternative is less welcomed.

Interestingly, I began to think more about my death not many years ago.  I am not sure exactly when but when I began to have more of my life with aches and pains than without them.  Also, the challenges of everyday life like putting on my pants, washing my feet, putting on my shoes.  These challenges and others made me realize that I was human and life was indeed coming to an end.  

Now, death is for real in that it is certain for everyone that is born alive.  In fact all people have serious concerns about dying including people who are at an age when they will most likely not face death for many decades. Fear of Flying is a common psychological problem but of course it is not fear of flying that concerns these people it is fear of dying if the plane crashes. Of course such fear is baseless as commercial flying is the safest form of transportation. Although today it could really be fear of flying with the hassle of flying today and with tiny seats and no leg room.

Still, their concerns are significant in that they have created a god to take care of them after they die.  Most religious people think that some form of heaven is where you go in death.  There you supposedly ‘live’ with all of your loved ones who have died before you.  It is interesting that the majority of religions, even though quite different in structure and beliefs, all have the same plan of some type of heaven with eternal life.  

I suppose there is some comfort in that thought.  Certainly there are lots of church goers who believe in that and attend church services most every Sunday even though the activity it is not enjoyed by many of them. And too, church membership costs significant money. Still it is a price that they are willing to pay for ‘immortality’.  

But let’s say that the theory of heaven, and it certainly can’t be called a law, is wrong.  To begin, what is a theory?  Well it’s a formulation of underlying principles of certain observed phenomena which has been validated with scientific testing.  And, a well established theory predicts where and how it can be tested in the process of verification.  Thus, if those predictions are wrong then the theory is wrong.  Certainly, what we know of heaven does not fit into that definition of a theory, so let’s call it a conjecture or just a guess. Yet for most religious people it goes beyond that and for some reason that I find difficult to understand it becomes a cherished belief.

Now since it can’t be tested it’s not a theory but only a guess and one that is most likely wrong. So, how can an inquiring mind accept death when in fact we die and don’t go anywhere, but become only ashes (cremated) or dust (rotting in a coffin)?  Well, to begin with death of all living things is certain and it is a natural occurrence.  Dying is as natural as birth but of course we can’t fear birth because we are unaware of what is going to happen.  But, not with death – it is the other end of the spectrum where we know for certain that it is coming.  

But interestingly death is as important to life as is birth. Without death, there would be no evolution of life.  Life on Earth would not have developed as the most primitive forms of life would still be alive and crowding out those continuing to be born.  Our Earth would be very crowded indeed just think of living with all of those dinosaurs!  So, it is clear that birth and death are coupled so tightly together that one can’t exist without the other.

Okay, now that we have established that death is a normal occurrence why do people so dread it.  Well, to begin those who are in pain that can’t be cured welcome death.  And, those with a poor quality of life look forward to not living anymore.  But, there are those who suddenly find themselves dying and wish that it were not so even though they know that it will happen sometime.  I guess it is a matter of timing.  We all want to live to be really, really old, but of course only when we have a reasonable quality of life.  

Still death eventually wins out and we die.  So why not accept it as the natural phenomenon that it is?  I propose to do so the acceptance of death would have to be in our DNA but unfortunately it is not.  Perhaps some day it will be part of our genetic structure but not soon.  In fact, we have in our DNA quite the opposite, it is ‘FEAR OF DYING’ and it is in the most primitive forms of life!  And, it has to be in order to propagate the species.  In fact, it is difficult for me to understand how we could have DNA that fears death and DNA that accepts death.  Perhaps, it could be the same DNA that is activated at different times of life; i.e. the acceptance of death in our DNA would be activated by changes in health or even age.

Why isn’t it part of our DNA now?  To begin with, the knowledge of an eventual death is a new concept that has occurred only with the development of our brains to see into the future and to plan.  It is said that even humanoids, the Neanderthals, were not capable of planning so supposedly they were not aware of the eventual onset of death.  They did have ceremonies surrounding the dead but apparently, they were mourning their loss of that individual.

DNA is an interesting structure of only four amines that are capable of coding knowledge into an animal and plant that is useful in survival.  For instance, a new born kangaroo is so tiny that it can barely be seen, yet it has the knowledge to crawl up its mother body from her vagina and into her pouch and attach itself nearly permanently to one of her teats in about three minutes without any help from the mother!  All of that knowledge must be in its DNA!

People too have DNA that contains knowledge and therefore implanted into their activities that are predictable and assured.  For instance, we demand that we have a leader in every group of population.  When threatened short-term we perform protection activities that are required for our survival as a people.  These activates must be in our DNA!

Interestingly, we seem not to be concerned about life-threatening problems that are in the far future so we do not plan for these but ‘hide our heads in the sand’ and do nothing until we accept these problems as truly threats when they become short-term or immediate.  In fact with long-term problems we make excuses why we are doing nothing: e.g., (1) they are not really serious problems; (2) they will fix themselves; (3) intervention will disrupt our society; (4) we have time to fix it later; (5) problems solving is distasteful; (6) fixing the problem will cost time and money that we don’t want to invest; and, (7) it will not happen!

This logic is clearly visible in several current situations.  The most common one is an unhealthy habit that we enjoy but frequently kill us; oh yes, cigarette smoking.  Certainly, a smoker struggles with all of the above excuses as he/she continues to smoke cigarettes.  Suddenly they have the immediate terrifying threat of lung cancer and then it is usually too late.  Certainly, their DNA fear of dying is activated, but now too late.  So why didn’t their DNA respond when they knew the risks involved when they lit up their first cigarette?  It must be, because, long-term problem solving is not in our DNA.    

But there are many other problems that history has shown were not addressed until they became a short-term threat.  World War II is an example where time and time again, the threat of Hitler’s Germany was obvious yet ‘swept under the rug’ until the long-term threat (not in our DNA) became a short-term threat when we took action that is in our DNA.

There is no doubt that the most critical threat to our existence is climate change.  Unfortunately, it is known to be a fact by simple science.  Climate change is accepted by the vast majority of scientists knowledgeable in this area of science. Yet, because of the above listed reasons, it will not be addressed seriously until into the far future and then most likely, it will be too late.

Okay, back to the initial topic of our thoughts about death.  Our thoughts are occasional concerns thus the establishment of religions and their support by the majority of humans.  Still, it is well known that even very religious people cling to life as long as possible even though their future is blessed with eternal life. Thus, it appears that religion is a poor substitute for proper DNA!

Proper DNA should inform us soon after we learn about the inevitability of death that it is natural and will happen at the end of our life.  The information provided by the DNA will be accepted as one of the ‘facts of life’ to ‘enjoy’ – yes, enjoy!  But certainly not to enjoy to the point that we will kill ourselves, but to enjoy so that we do not fear it.  That DNA, when we have it, will not interfere with the survival DNA that we now have!

So everyone relax without fear of death.  It is a natural occurrence that happens to everyone.  The best that we can do is to enjoy our life as best as we can and don’t do something that will kill you.

Comments are welcomed at burton.russell@att.net.

I KNEW IT WASN'T ME!

Whew! What a relief to learn that when you walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was is not because of old age?

What?  Yes, it turns out that doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.  Now listen up… no now read up… 
 
Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale. 
 
It's not old me, it's the door!

Thank goodness for a study like this one and there should be more because we might learn that all of our experiences growing old are not caused by old age but are caused by some rational psychological phenomenon that affects young people too. Wanna bet…

Okay, if you buy that one I have some acreage that I would like you to buy from me.  I’ll show it to you during low tides.

But, there is some truth to all of this in that we tend to blame all of our problems on old age and forget that sometimes there might be another cause.  You know a cause that we can do something about.  We can’t turn back the clock and make us a robust young 75 again. No, we are stuck with our age but remember what I have noted before several times that there are young 80 year olds and there are old 80 year olds. Okay, maybe not young 80 year olds but less-old 80 year olds. And, less not forget there are lots of dead 80 year olds.  

The other day I was in a car dealership talking to a young lady car salesperson.  Yes, a young woman trying to sell me a new car.  Well, I started with a slick salesman who got my brain thinking buy, buy, yes buy.  Of course when I went into that car dealership I was not going to buy a new car – certainly not now, but later.  Oh yes, read on…

After he left she continued the spiel but somehow learned that I was 81 years old.  I guess I told her that when she wanted me to take out a 6-year note on a lone to buy the car – you know only $200 a month. Now are you ready for this?

She said, ‘I can’t believe that you are 81 years old.’

I frowned and said, ‘I look older?’ Of course knowing that she really meant younger – at least I hoped so.

I continued, ‘Well, how old do you think I am?’ I love that comeback because young people do not know what to say.  Now they begin rapidly thinking what age to make me and even making me 11 years young like 70 sounds old to a young person so they kind of stutter and mention something like 60.  Of course, now you know they are lying but it still feels good.  And, yes when you are trying to sell a new car to an old person it is good to make them feel younger.

I bought the car!

Now don’t think I bought a new car because a pretty young salesperson was helping (?) me. No, I bought the car because I felt like I had to buy a new car. But, why did I want to buy a new car?  The one I had was perfectly good with only 89,000 miles on it.  It was a Honda Fit getting good gas mileage – 42 mpg. And, Consumer Reports noted a few issues back that this car is good for 200.000 miles.  So, I had lots more miles and since it took me 6 years to get 89,000 miles on it I could have driven this car until I was 88 years old with more worries about my survival than worries about my old car’s survival.

Of course there had to be a reason… Well, I was too old for that car!  Yes, too old.  I do not want to admit that but with a stick shift and no cruise control my body just could not drive it 8 or more hours a day on long trips without getting cramps in my right leg.  And, the stick shift was fun but my speed at shifting had slowed which could be a problem especially when I was at a stop heading up a hill and some jerk gets his front bumper close behind me.

Now, there are other reasons for getting an automatic shift one of which is that many people now days can’t drive a stick shift – especially younger people.  Yes, I have younger friends and they might want to drive my car. And, these young people do not know how lucky they are not to have to go through the learning experience of pushing in the clutch, pushing and pulling the sifting knob about, letting out the clutch all in one smooth motion without accelerating the motor.

Who taught me and when?  Well, my father of course when I was 15 years old.  Taking lesions from one’s father, certainly my father was not fun.  Now, he didn’t hit me or anything like that, but oh the yelling for he was not a patient man.  But, I learned to use a stick shift like everyone did back then if they wanted to drive for automatic transmissions were a rarity.  Only one person in town had an automatic transmission and it was a Bar owner who was paralyzed from the waist down so that was his only option.

Of course knowing how to drive a stick shift came in handy many times in my life with various jobs especially driving trucks.

Yes, I had to buy a car with automatic transmission and cruise control if I was to ever take a long trip again like next year. Why a long trip next year? Well because like I have written before I live in upstate New York on Lake Erie during the summer and that is a three-day trip from my winter home in Texas. I say three-day trip, when I was younger I made it in two days, but that is another story.

Believe this or not but just now while I was writing this piece, the phone rang.  Guess who was calling?  Well, that young girl who sold me the car was asking me how I liked my new car.  But, I think she just wanted to hear the voice of a young 60 year-old man.

SUCCESSFUL AGING – CAN IT BE DONE

I attended a lecture this last summer (2013) with the name of this article at the Chautauqua Institute.  It was presented by a representative of the LECOM Institute for Successful Aging.  Living longer has become a common reality and with this phenomenon more interest is being generated for many reasons but of course the major one is money.

This lecture began with a simple concept: ‘Plan to age successfully and in doing so you add more years to your life and more life to your age’.  Catchy right and to do these marvelous things one must understand his/her body. Wow, I wish I had thought of that!

So, it began with some statistics about aging and old people by noting that Florida, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania in that order have the oldest populations.  Yes, now 13% of the US population is over 65 years of age and rapidly growing as a percentage.

Now came some interesting physiological facts on aging.  I was not prepared for this list of bad things that come with aging.  Okay let’s begin with the brain that is largest when we are 25 years of age but at age 60 we have 4 times more knowledge than we did when we were 20, what ever that means.  On the other hand on average when a person reaches 80 years of age intelligence begins to decrease – oh boy that’s me!  Let’s not forget that the number of our neurons in our brain decreases so we have less ability to remember and as no surprise our hearing is fading into the sunset.  Foot vibration detection drops so we fall more easily. Unfortunately we all know that from experience!

Are you ready for the entire list of mounting physiologic and anatomic failures?  Well here it comes: A reduction of functions includes, taste and smell (by 50%), production of saliva, thirst drive, stomach acid, gastric emptying. liver function, calcium absorption, cartilage in our joints, lung function (50% by 80) and size, muscle strength (back and arms) at age 65, heart function, kidney function (10% each decade beginning at age 40) which include decrease in size and blood flow, thyroid function, sex hormones, ovarian function, blood cell production, skin elasticity, sweating, detection of temperature change, immune ability and finally wound healing – WOW!!!!

But all is not lost some things do increase: Constipation, acid in our esophagus (GERD), heart size and blood pressure.

Of Course, with these reductions in organ functions there are consequences such as: taste and smell means our appetite is reduced so we lose weight;  thirst drive means we are more prone to dehydration that can be serious in hot weather; stomach acid means digestive problems; calcium absorption results in weaker bones; lung function causes less ability to exercise; heart and kidney functions results are obvious; blood cell production results in anemia; sweating and detection of temperature change can be serious in hot weather resulting in heat stroke; skin elasticity results in more torn skin; immune ability means easier to get sick; and of course wound healing speaks for itself.  

And, like the experts said at the beginning our the lecture all of these reduced functions in our organs are the cause of us aging and eventually dying. Simply like an old car we are wearing out. So, like restoring some antique car with new parts, it looks like in the future as studies on mice suggest that it will be possible to ‘artificial organs’ with our aging stem cells. Now the concept of replacing aging or damaged tissues with stem cells is not new and this could be applied to us old people.  The big problem with this concept is that stem cells age too so when we get old our stem cells are worn out and therefore can not restore function.  Scientists have gotten around this problem by introducing factors that once again renew old stem cells to where they can function once again and make organs!

But today it was noted that there are simple methods to slow down the aging process of these organs. How so? Avoid disease, now that makes sense. Increase our mental and physical activities, better lifestyle factors (what ever that means), good nutrition, healthy habits including self-care, engage in life with new experiences, good relationships with friends, and engage in productive activities such as life long learning and volunteer work.

Certainly life long learning or Adult Learning in Retirement is without a doubt a very good one for it includes not only exercising the brain but promotes good relationships with friends you share these learning experiences.  Just the physical activity of going to these classes results in some form of exercise.  So, there is no surprise that I have written a BLOG on such a title.

Now our brain which is our most important organ if we want good quality of life has its own prescriptions.  Certainly, a person without good mental function is not enjoying life. Well we can help our brain grow old with dignity by: eating healthy, getting lots of sleep, relax more, increase physical activity, increase activities that ward off depression, less alcohol consumption (I don’t like this one) and write more such as your memoirs or a journal o life.  Hey, how about writing a monthly BLOG on old people?

After this lecture I was not in a good mood because it looked like 80 years of age was the ‘breaking point’ and I am 81 +.  Well, like I wrote in this BLOG on Actuary Tables when it comes down to individuals like you and me, they don’t mean a damn thing.

Well, that is the trouble with lectures like these, in that they lump people together.  Many people are productive long into their 90s and live to be 100 or longer.  Remember the great heart surgeon in Texas (Houston, I think) who was doing serious open heart surgeries when he was well into his 90s.  I can’t remember his name now but it will come to me - sometime.  Yes, it was Dr. Michael Debakey.  Okay, I had to look it up on Wikipedia, but I had to know enough of it in order to do so.  Hey my brain is still functioning – well kind of.  

Certainly, one major reason Dr. Debakey continued to do all of these things was because he never stopped doing all of those things.  You know, he kept busy.  I do believe and I have read someplace that retirement is a possible death sentence if we don’t continue to function as noted previously in this article.  You know ‘use it or lose it’.

Well, this is the old rusty nail signing off with another article for old people but with the wonderful thought of ‘successful aging’. I guess the proof of the pudding is what is meant by ‘successful aging’.

Keep in mind that I can be reached at: burton.russell@att.net. But please remember, when you do let me know who you are by mentioning the ‘Old Rusty Nail’.  If not, your message will be deleted.

THE DEATH OF A FRIEND

I had a friend die the other day. Of course when you are an old person friends dying are not unusual events.  Still, I have a difficult time accepting the loss of any friend but the loss of this friend has been particularly difficult for me.

I had known her for about ten years.  We met each summer at the Chautauqua Institution for the nine-week program. Her name is not important but our friendship was important and I miss her.  We were good friends obviously with similar interests which we shared at Chautauqua each summer.

This summer (2014) is the first one without her.  It is sad of course but too this summer is different without her for we shared many lectures sitting together on the front row.  We didn’t have to wave when the other entered where the lecture was to take place for we knew it would be middle seats in the front row.  It was a rare event if those seats were already taken.

Interestingly, I did not know much about her life as our histories were not important to each other.  But, what was important was the present enjoying the lectures.  Following most of them we would discuss either the content or the lecturer. Not always with kudos but many times with critical comments which were not complementary.  She insisted on high quality in everything she did and with whom she shared her life.  With that comment in mind, I was most appreciative and flattered to be accepted as her friend.

Frequently, one of her friends, most of whom I didn’t know, would approach her after a lecture to get her take on it.  Obviously they valued her opinion as did I but we did not always agree.

Her main interest was in Shakespeare and his plays which she taught in college for many years.  And, she knew every line of most of them.  I remember when a Chautauqua speaker would ‘quote’ from one of his plays she would look at me shocked at their mangling of the ‘quote’. She then would recite for me what Shakespeare had really written.

My friend was Chautauqua telling me many times that if she could not come to these summer programs she would die – and she did!  Now, I am not saying that because she was not able to attend this year because of her health she up and died.  No, she fell a few weeks ago lying there alone for several hours before she got help.  She was not in good health to begin with as she had a serious heart attack several years ago.  Still, she had planned to go to the Stratford Theater in Canada this summer because she could not physically handle Chautauqua. She was to be in a two story house there with Christopher Plummer occupying the second story.  What a summer she would have had discussing Shakespeare with one of her favorite actors who really knew Shakespeare.

If her life story would have been a movie it would have ended at the end of this summer with her dying just after she had discussed the final Shakespeare plays for the summer with Mr. Plummer.  You know a perfect Hollywood ending but of course here I am writing about real life. I think she would have been a great actress, kind of a Betty Davis type.

The way she handled her heart attack was typical of her determination and fearlessness.  She awoke early in the morning with an upset stomach.  Of course, this is a symptom of a heart attack, but she ignored it and went back to sleep.  Later that morning she met with some friends who were shocked at her appearance.  They immediately took her to a hospital emergency room, where she was quickly diagnosed with severe heart disease. Surrounded by several physicians she was told that she needed immediate surgery to save as much of her heart as they could.  Typical of my friend she began to argue with them about the timing and importance of this whole thing.  Of course, they ignored her protesting, but most of her heart function was lost.

Still, with most of her heart not working she lived a pretty normal life afterwards attending Chautauqua for several summers.  Now, it is important to note here that attending the summer program in Chautauqua is most demanding physically requiring walking several miles each day.  And, she would dispense with her diuretics as they interfered with her activities.  Her legs would swell and make walking very painful. Talk about determination and the love of Chautauqua!

Together we stayed after the Chautauqua Program had closed for the summer to attend the two-day International Prosecutors of War Crimes Meeting sponsored by the Robert Jackson Institute in Jamestown, NY.  On the last day of the meeting when we parted her appearance told me that I would not see her ever again.  We hugged and said goodbye. She got out of my car and I watched her slowly walk up the steps to her hotel.  She turned smiled and waved goodbye.

I mentioned my concerns about her health to another chum who also was a very good friend of hers.  Actually, she was a much closer friend than I, having known her for many more years. As a side note, both of my friends loved to talk and they would meet over coffee in the morning and talk for several hours. I think their record was seven hours.

I phoned her a couple of weeks before she died.  I told her that I would come by to see her on my way to Chautauqua this summer. She was pleased about that, but I was concerned that she might not live that long for our conversation lasted but a few minutes. She was too tired to continue.  You know, when talking for her was difficult then living for her was difficult.

Yes, I missed my friend that summer with her smile and wisdom.  We were good friends.   

To my readers, I appreciate taking the time to read this BLOG.  When I am bothered about something it seems that writing about it helps me cope.  Yes, it helped but I still miss her.

I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

The old rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I just finished reading an article I wrote for this column sometime ago entitled ‘Words to Live By’.  In it I wrote that just because you can do something physically does not mean that you should do it, especially when a person is old.  In that article I wrote about rebuilding a portion of my backyard deck.  As expected it was hard work for someone who was 80 years old at the time and I guess when I finished it I was tired, I hurt and somewhat depressed.

So, I wrote a very negative article about working hard when you are an old person.  Yes, about the aches and pains which follow such hard labor.  But, as I frequently do I forgot to take my own advice.

How so?  Well, I just finished reworking the rest of my deck.  I just put new boards on the support timbers and covered them with outdoor carpet.  And, you know I did not have the aches and pains that I wrote about in my previous article.

So, what happened that changed my physical prowess and my previous advice not to do this kind of hard labor.  Well, I did it like an old man should do it you know a few boards each day and stopping when my back began to hurt!  Now that is sound advice that I just learned makes lots of sense.

Okay, why did I venture into this kind of hard labor when I had vowed never to do it again?  Of course, it was necessity! Why necessity you ask?  Well, I could not get any help.

All of this began several months ago when I could see evidence of dry wood rot on my decking.  The boards were not exposed for me to see this wood rot although it was mainly on their near underneath side.  I built it about 10 years ago out of cedar boards.  I used cedar because it is a pretty lumber especially when new.  But of course as it aged it darken to where it was nearly black.  Yep, all of the beauty was gone and when I tried to pressure wash it the boards began to come apart.

After I had pulled up a few boards to make sure that they needed to be replaced, I decided that it was time to phone a contractor.  I do know such a person who lives in a house which I pass when I do my walking exercises.  I phoned and was told that his father would come by and take a look.  In a few days, he arrived at my front door to take measurements, etc. so that a bid would be made giving me the bad news about how much it would cost.  I was prepared for at least a $300 price tag not including the boards.

It was a couple of weeks and I had not heard from him, but during my walk he stopped his pickup rolled down the window and asked me if his son had offered me a bid.  I told him no.  He replied that they were very busy but I would get one in a few days.

Just a caveat here, I wrote that he ‘rolled down’ his window.  He did not roll down his window.  He pushed a button and the window went down electronically.  You know we just keep using those old descriptions even though things have changed.  I bet a younger person does not say that a car window in rolled down. How about hanging up your phone.

Back to my story and the short of it I never did hear from him.  I began to wonder why and finally realized that my job was so small that he did not want to fool with it.  I suppose the main reason was that he would have to set up a crew to do a few hours work and therefore he would have to charge me a lot of money to make a profit and he would not do  that because he is my friend.

It was a Saturday when I saw my neighbor’s young friend start to get into his pickup.  I called out to him that I needed help and would pay him for his effort.  He told me that his steady job was sheet metal work being paid $12 per hour.  I told him about the work to be done and offered to pay him $15 an hour.  He said he had done carpentry work in the past and appeared eager to get the job. Well, he never showed up!

So, what am I to do?  My deck is torn up and no way to get any help.  Well, of course I had no choice, but to do the work myself.  Full of courage with considerable doubt thrown in, I went to my local Home Depot and order the lumber and carpet.  I agreed for them to deliver it but of course at a price.  Usually it can take most supplies home in my Honda Fit but these were 12 foot boards and carpeting.

A few days later, my phone rang it was the truck driver calling to say he was nearby and would be at my garage door in a few minutes.  I waited at least a half hour before he arrived.  He lowered his window of his huge truck to tell me in an unhappy voice that he did not know that this was a dead-end street.  And, that he would have to back out of here and that would take him at least two hours.

Puzzled I asked why he did use the short exit road to a main street that was just a few feet behind his truck.  Well, he failed to see that street.  He had come in the other way having to make five tight turns which required backing up several times in order to do it.  Why didn’t he ask for directions?  Of course he has his trusty GPS which gave him directions but not the best directions.  You know those things are really not that reliable when it comes to giving the best directions.

I then explained to him where I wanted the 20 boards put in my garage.  He shook his head and showed me the contract that said it was curbside delivery only which he would do with a folk lift.  No hand labor involved.  I was stunned for Home Depot deliveries had been made to my place before with men who helped me do what I asked.

After some discussion in which I shamed him into helping me by noting that the work involved would take less time than our discussion was taking and of course that I was 81 years old.   Reluctantly, he relented and the boards got put into my garage.  It took two minutes with both of us working together.  He waved goodbye when he started to back up his truck.  I think we remained friends.

Of course, now came the real work.  But you know, I got it done and the deck looks great!  Well, what is the secret to doing it this time and not the aches and pains which came with my previous decking work?  I took my time!!!!  After cutting a couple of boards to size and attaching them to the support structure, I took a couple of hours rest.  You know after three days, I had the 20 some boards in place and the carpet stapled down.  Years ago I would have done this all in less than a day.

You know patience is the key word here.  And too, I find patience helps when driving my car.  It has taken me 81 years to learn that patience is my friend!  I guess you could call me a slow learner.

Well it’s time for the old rusty nail to close another exciting article with some sage advice to you old readers.  Hey take your time and you know what?  We can still do a days work in three days!

FALLING DOWN IS HELL

FALLING DOWN IS HELL

The old rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I had a bad fall a short time back.  No I didn’t trip and fall like I have done in the past I fell from a standing position turning around in my backyard.  I was working on my rock garden when I turned to do something unimportant.  For some reason, I began to lose my balance.  I started to regain some posture control when I lost it all falling forward.  With the ground coming at my face rapidly I did what is a natural reaction to save my head.

Of course, I threw my right hand out in front of me using my arm to stop my head from hitting the hard ground and where there were some rocks.  Well, that drove the weight of most of body up my right arm to my shoulder where it abruptly stopped because the energy couldn’t go any further.

I immediately looked at my wrist and moved it to see if it was broken but luckily it was sound and has not given me any pain.  Nor does my right elbow hurt.  But, my shoulder surely hurts and it is noticeably larger than my left shoulder.  Yes, it is swollen so that tells a person that sometime not good has happened inside it.

After using a few choice words, I began to try to lift myself up to some kind of sitting position which was not easy for there was nothing for me to hold onto.  Eventually, I was able to sit.  Then I worked my way up to a standing position.

Brushing myself clean of the dirt that was covering my shirt and short pants, I moved my right shoulder which had already beginning to give me serious pain.  Being a veterinarian I do have some anatomical sense about what the shoulder area looks like.  The shoulder blade is attached to the main upper body with ligaments, muscles and if I remember correctly a couple of bursae.  The ligaments I am sure took most of the energy of my fall so they must be strained with some muscle damage.  My arm is attached to my shoulder with a round ball socket like many joints which contains a rotator cuff.  I moved my arm to find that it was not out of joint, nor was there any crunching noise.  A rotator cuff injury is possible and does worry me for I know nothing about those things.

My self diagnosis was that I had not broken anything nor had it inflicted any major injury to my body.  But, there was no doubt that I had strained some ligaments big time and perhaps even bruised a couple of muscles.  And yes, it could have been much worse.

This is my third day after my accident and the right shoulder is letting me know that it was abused and will not let me forget that for quite some time.  I am trying not to use my right arm but being right handed that is not easy.  And to make matters worse I sleep on my right side mostly because of back problems, so during the night I apparently aggravate it because in the morning it hurts more than when I go to bed.


In addition, I have a two inch circular black and blue mark on the inside of my left thigh where I apparently hit something hard – probably a rock for in a rock garden there are lots of them.  Yes, a bruise hurts but only when you push on it, so don’t push on it stupid!

Of course, after something like this happens I try to sort out what went wrong to be sure I can hopefully prevent a reoccurrence of a similar accident.  Certainly, falling because I tripped over something like the toe end of my shoe is understandable and I try hard to prevent that from happening to me again.  But, this time I do not really know what happened.  I simply lost my balance and I fell and I fell very hard.  Yes, loss of balance is a problem with old people.

Now, I could have hit my head against the hard stucco wall which would have been much more serious for the head is full of lots more important stuff than a few ligaments and muscles.  And, I did not break my wrist.  I understand that a broken wrist is common with these types of accident, so I was fortunate in that regard.

I say fortunate and not lucky because luck would imply that I should have broken something and by chance I didn’t.  Well, I think there are several reasons why I did not break anything and luck is not one of them.  Certainly the main reasons are that I am physically fit as I workout at my gym twice a week keeping my shoulders and wrists strong.  I also walk a few miles three times each week.  My bone density is within normal range because I do maintain a healthy diet and I take a daily vitamin and mineral supplement.

Yes, no doubt my good genes helped and I am thankful for that because genes are those things a person can not fix.  Well, medical science is beginning to fix some of them but generally at this time in the life of science, genes remain to be pretty much out of the reach of medical clinicians.

So, what am I going to do to try to work at not letting this type of accident happen again, like I do with tripping?  I am not sure and that scares me.  Now, I could decide not go outside to my backyard anymore.  That is a sure fire way of stopping any accidents from happening back there.  But, there are two problems with that solution.  Since I do not know why it could happen inside my house!  Now, that is scary

The other problem with that idea is that my quality of life would be reduced to a level that I will not accept.  A positive quality of life is more important to me than life itself.  I write ‘positive’ quality of life not knowing how to quantify it.  Perhaps a ‘high level’ might be a better adjective or perhaps simply ‘standard’ or ‘normal’.  In any event, my quality of life must be at a level where my life is worth living and that means I must be able to get about (I wouldn’t mind mechanical help) and my mind must be capable of routine thought – you know without serious dementia.

So, I will preserver as best as I can not knowing how it all happened.  Yes, I will return to my backyard – well I already have done that but I did walk very carefully where my accident occurred and I looked at that rock garden with a certain amount of disdain.

Sorry about this downer article still I must write about some of the bad things that happen with old age.  And, falling is one of those things that happen regardless of how careful an old person is.  Still, it is important for us old people to remain vigilant when doing all physical activities.  But, the key here is to keep doing physical activities and not let old age win.

Now a gadget is advertized that you wear around your neck that you press a button for help if you fall and can’t get up.  I guess they work alright and are probably a good idea, but I just don’t feel the need for one of those things right now.  In a sense, it is kind of like taking one more step down the road of old age and I don’t want to do that right now.

With that philosophical note, the Ole Rusty Nail closes another article.  As always I do hope I have added some pleasure to you, my reader’s lives along with a little humor and sound advice. Please keep in mind I can be reached via email at burton.russell@att.net

MEMORIAL SERVICES AND FUNERALS

MEMORIAL SERVICES AND FUNERALS

The old rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

Old people know all about memorial services and funerals for they have been to many of them probably beginning way back when their grandparents died. Now, being 81 years old I have attended quite a few of those things. It is sad that another friend has died but in another way I kind of enjoy them.  I generally get to visit with friends whom I may not have seen for several years.  Also, I like to see what people wear at these things.

Generally the men elders wear dark suits like I always wear but most of the younger people especially the men come casually dressed.  It is not out of disrespect for the deceased I am sure, it’s just the way times are changing, I guess.  My uncle who is 91 years old tells me that when he was a young man coming to dinner he had to wear a suit with tie, in his own house. I don’t know of any families that do that today.

I think memorial services are less morbid than funerals. Perhaps it is the fact that a dead body is not sharing the room with you.  In the place of a body which has been cremated with memorial services a large color photograph of the deceased is on the front table smiling at you.  For me seeing that picture reminds of the good times we had together.  Whereas seeing a dead person all made up to look alive makes you forget those good times.

My mother went to many funerals.  She refused to look at the decreased because if she did she feared that she would only remember the person dead and not when they were alive. I suppose some other people feel the same way.

The custom of embalming and using makeup to make the dead person look not dead but just asleep is cruel and unusual punishment.  Why?  Well, in the back of the loved ones’ minds is confusion in that the person is just asleep so why doesn’t the deceased wake up.  You know looks mean a lot to people.  For instance the billions of dollars spent on methods to look younger.  Everybody knows that the person is not younger – the person just looks younger.

And the position in the casket troubles me. You know always lying on their back face up in a fancy box lined with silk like fluffy material.  Shouldn’t the deceased have some thing to say about that?  I prefer sleeping on my side not my back, especially for an eternity. I suppose for the religious the dead person is all dressed up with great makeup so that he/she will be presentable when they meet the Lord in Heaven where everyone looks really sharp.

It is customary to stroll down to view the remains in the casket (if it is an open casket funeral) when one enters the church or funeral home. And, the opinions about how the deceased looked vary from ‘he looked so natural like he was asleep’ to the other extreme ‘she looked awful, I hardly recognized her’.  It is bizarre to me that the dead person is made up to look alive.  You know, funerals are sad enough but to pretend that you are burying a sleeping person gives me the creeps.

I have found these services for those attending to be seated in groups according to their relationship to the decreased.  You know on the first couple of rows the surviving spouse surrounded by their sons and daughters with their families comforting each other.  Well, it appears to be that way.  The really close friends attempt to mingle with them.  The rest of those in attendance sit more in the back smiling at each other and making small talk.

Another difference between memorial services and funerals is that in the latter the Bible is quoted much more often.  I guess that is one reason I prefer the former.

The closest I came to being a major part of a funeral was a few years ago when a dear friend died.  I flew from Texas to Nevada to be with him when he died.  His widow asked me to help her with the funeral arrangements, etc.  Together she made the funeral arrangements and when it came to picking out the casket she asked me for help.

It was an interesting experience that was salesmanship at its highest level. There are two things that drive the casket market upwards in cost.  One is that the cost of the casket is a reflection on how much you cared for that person. You know he deserved a good casket.  Of course the other driving force to buy expensive is what will the people in attendance think of the surviving spouse buying a cheap casket.  Are they broke or she really didn’t love him.  And, these boxes are not cheap.

We looked at a room full of caskets starting at a mere $2000 made out of plastic and did it look cheap and I am sure on purpose.  A shoebox has more class.  Quickly the price soured.  My friend, without my help made the selection of course and it was an interesting one.  She chose the western looking one with wooden cowboy ropes, etc. draping the sides of the coffin. Why the western motif? Because he owned many horses and went on many trail rides wearing western clothes.  I thought perhaps he should be dressed in some kind of Western garb lying in the casket, but I didn’t suggest it.  I think the cost of the casket was $8000.  It was well made out of oak.  What a waste of good quality wood and workmanship that was to be admired for a couple of days then buried underground for an eternity.

He was buried in a different state than where he died so his body had to be shipped across state lines.  Considerable paper work was required to accomplish that task to be sure.  The casket arrived and was opened to find a large red blotch on the side of his face, kind of like a red bruise.  I suppose some capillaries were not filled with embalming fluid and bled out a bit.  His daughter applied some powder to cover it up and it was show time!

And, show time it was with hurried preparations when the minister arrived getting everybody in their place behind the curtains.  I was a designated pallbearer although I didn’t lift anything, just walked beside the wagon carrying the casket. I sat with the family.

Of course a major difference between memorial services and funerals is the reason for their existence. Memorial services as the name implies is to remember the deceased with good fun thoughts.  You know, the good times had together and a nice way of saying goodbye and it is important to say goodbye even if the dead one could not care less.

Funerals are more complex because there is a body to dispose of and that takes a certain amount of effort.  Generally, the funeral implies that the deceased as represented by the body is heading for Heaven and helps along the process.  Yes, the other part is remembering the dead one somewhat like what the memorial service accomplishes.

For some religions the body is important for it will someday in whole enter Heaven with the rapture as believed by many Believers.  At a funeral one time I told a person that I would be cremated.  He thought for a moment then began to reason with me that when the rapture occurs, there would be no body to send to Heaven.  He was concerned.  When I asked him what would happen to a good Christian dying in a fire and their body was unintentionally cremated.  He had no answer.

Thoughts of life after death have been around for centuries and long before the Bible was written.  There is evidence that Neanderthals had rituals for the dead.  And, China’s thousands of years history involves the creation of thousands of clay human-sized soldiers buried with the Emperor for his use in another world.  The Egyptian Pharos had pyramids built for their lavish grave sites which included tools, gold ornaments etc. to be used on the other side of the river Styx.

There should be no surprise about all of the fuss about dying for people are the only animal that knows that they are going to die and that is scary for death lasts forever.

With that very deep philosophical thought for the day the ole rusty nail concludes another article on life or rather this time it is on death.  Remember I can be reached at burton.russell@att.net

OLDER AMERICANS MONTH

OLDER AMERICANS MONTH

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I didn’t know there was a month for us old people but President John F. Kennedy declared the month of May as such.  And, this year 2013 is the 50th anniversary of when it happened.  Back then there was something like 17 million Americans over the age of 65. Now I do not believe that the age of 65 is by any stretch of the imagination old.  In my first article on this subject I designated the age of 80 as the beginning of being old.  And, I suppose there are some on you in your 80s that would move old age to 90.

Back to the age of 65, now there are 40 million of us which is more than twice as many people as when President Kennedy decided to get the attention of younger people that we existed.  And, we do exist with a rate of growth that is higher than our population as a whole.

I learned about this month from the June 2013 AARP article which was published announcing the unfortunate fact that old people are being ripped off my crooks at the rate of just about $100 per person.  If you do the math that sum amounts to $2.9 billion each year.  Hey that’s not peanuts.

This article went on to describe some of the methods used to steal money from us old people.  Of course, there is the one that you have won a big lottery in a foreign country but we need some money to pay the fees and taxes for you so you can get the several million waiting just for you.  How lucky can I be?  You know you are not that lucky besides do you remember buying your lottery ticket in South Africa? It sounds dumb and it is dumb but some people still fall for it.

Of course, if you remember buying that ticket you just might have won.  On the other hand, if you did not buy a ticket you are trying to get money that you know is not yours.  Aha, trying a scam of your own.  Remember ‘you can’t cheat an honest man’.  That adage also goes for women.

Another scam is identity theft.  Of course this scam is ever growing and affects all ages.  There is no sure way of defeating this scam for sure but certainly by spreading all of your documents with your name, social security and bank numbers will help.  These scam artists can be very creative.  For instance, simply applying for a magazine subscription by one of these guys (and girls) in your name can be the beginning of identity theft.

In the dedication of an Older Americans Month, President Kennedy noted, “Our national record in providing for our aged is a proud and hopeful one. But it can and must improve.”  I’m sure we all agree to that especially if you are an aged one for now it gets personal.

Now over these 50 years I have not witnessed any great improvement.  In fact, I see the government attempting to take away from us what we have earned.  The most recent attempt is to lower the rate of inflation used by Social Security to calculate our monthly check.  Oh, let’s not forget the Medicare voucher scam that popped up its ugly head during the last presidential campaign.  I don’t think that bad idea would fall in the category of ‘a proud and hopeful one’.

Another article on aging I recently ran across was in my local newspaper the San Antonio Express News (June 2, 2013) by Steven Austad.  He noted that living to be 100 is rare but rapidly growing.  Now, about 1 in 6,000 people accomplish that goal.  That is if it is everyone’s goal.  He noted Texas is near the bottom of the list of those people who do accomplish the century mark.

Of course, for us living in Texas this should be no surprise for we are near the bottom of the list in health care, education, etc.  I expect not providing health care for poor people might explain why we are not doing so well with this statistic.

He considered these numbers in greater detail as he noted that only 1 in 6 centenarians are men.  Oh boy that’s a downer for me considering I am a man.  Aha, but looking more closely we find that those men who do beat the odds are healthier than their lady counterparts.  That is, they are less likely to be in a nursing home, demented, or disabled.  Well, that is good news.  I surely don’t want to be part of those three categories in order to live to be 100.

This article noted that two comedians Bob Hope and George Burns made the century mark.  And, George Burns made the now famous remark upon doing so, “If you live to be a hundred, you’ve got it made.  Very few people die past that age.”

On TV the other day, they showed a picture of a woman who was 110 and looked no older than I would say 75!  She was talking to her sister of 98.  How amazing!!!

Hey, being alive at any age is the necessary ingredient to make it to 100.  So, all of you who are reading this article has hope.  Hey a few of us will do it.  Why not me?

I close reminding you all that I love to get emails from my many readers at burton.russell@att.net