LOOKING BACK

 The old rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

An article in the Smithsonian magazine, January 2014 entitled ‘The End of … You’ by Jerry Adler, a former Newsweek editor quotes in his article ‘… that you can’t prepare for a future we can not predict’. It’s a philosophical based article noting that looking ahead at what you will be in the future and looking back at what you were results in much different perceptions.  That said I am not surprised as at my age of 83 I look back a lot but then I still look ahead although there are much more to look back over (you know remember) than to look toward in the future.

The focus of this article is that when we look ahead at our future we believe that what we have become we think ‘will be for the rest of our lives’.  This phenomenon is called ‘the end of history illusion’.

Of course, with very little future left, I think I can predict pretty well my future life.  I can’t put a timeline on it but I have my life pretty much on track with my age and some financial security so I do not believe that there will be many serious changes – you know, I will be pretty much the same person for the rest of my life

Now he focuses his article on middle aged people in their late 30's – early 40's and ten years later.  That is how different they were in their 50's.  I wish he had addressed these perceptions when people become much older. Of course, old people have less dynamic lives but not entirely as I will discuss later in this article.

Certainly when I was in my late 30's I was beginning my final professional career so my life was not much different than years later when I was established in that career.  And, now in many ways, I do not see myself changed much from what I was ten years ago.  Having retired at 68, I had adjusted to a retired life that with a few exceptions has remained constant.

Well writing constant with some exceptions is kind of a silly thought. So, maybe I should rethink that because my hobbies, which for old people many times become one’s career have changed during my retirement.  When I retired an important part of my life was painting with water colors and acrylics. I took some art classes but really was self-taught.  I joined all of the art clubs some of which required active participation and all the ability to demonstrate respectable art which could be sold. I really thought that I would continue doing that the rest of my life.  But alas, a few years ago I lost interest in painting as I began to write these articles for my BLOG which I really enjoy.  

So, my life even in retirement is what one could call dynamic.  And, when I look back over my entire lifetime I see many changes leading me to what I am today.  Of course involved with these memories are what I guess could be called the evaluation aspects of my life.  You know, what I did right and what I did wrong.  Now, some of what I think I did wrong is clearer to me today as the outcome has occurred and is much different than I had predicted when I made that decision.  You know 20/20 hind sight.

Certainly, my life-long professional career is something that I would not of predicted when I was in college preparing for my life-long goal to become a practicing veterinarian.  It was absolutely clear to me and my class mates that I was going into clinical medicine in California establishing and enjoying a medical practice for animals.  My classmates wished that they were as sure of their careers as I was. I had not yet decided if it would be large or small animals or maybe both but it would be clinical medicine without any doubts.  After seven years of veterinary practice which had become all small animals I realized finally that this was not the career for me!

Looking at my father’s life who hated his job every day for nearly 40 years, I began to realize that I was in a trap much like my father was in, but I had time to escape if I did it soon.  And, soon I did, putting my practice up for sale which was sold within a few days.  I literally gave it away for I needed to move on to another career before it was too late.  I had no job offers in fact I did not have any idea what I might do with my degree in veterinarian medicine. 

My first thoughts were I might begin working for the State of California as a regulatory veterinarian or a meat inspector.  These jobs were available and would have been a good career but then strangely I had a veterinarian friend suggest going back to the University of California at Davis, from where I had graduated and apply for a job that he knew about.  I did and I was hired which led to my career in research eventually ending up with an MS and PhD degrees and becoming Chief Scientist of two US Air Force laboratories in of all places, Texas.

To this day, I look back at when I was spaying dogs and cats in my practice in Grover City (now Grover Beach) California and the thought that my career would end as it did is beyond my craziest imagination. But, then if I had known all of what I had learned then I would not have ever gone to veterinary school, but would have become a scientist much sooner.  But, of course without this experience I would not have known that I did not like clinical veterinary medicine.

Well, now that I have reminisced about my past life relative to this article I realize that the study which Alder writes about did not fit me as he concludes,  ‘… what we should seek… seeing the person will be in the future’.  But, of course like I wrote about my career ‘to seek our future’ is fine but seeing the person I will be in the future for me was impossible.

Next I guess I could write about my personal life which has had many twists and turns many of which I could have avoided if I had been able to see the person I would be in the future.  But that story I will never write even though it would mirror more closely the premise of the original study with which I began this BLOG.

I guess this article was not really about being old like I usually focus most of these articles on but it is about my own reminiscing about the improbability of my eventual successful career, something I do a lot of these days. You know when you get old reminiscing of one’s life is something a person does often and it is really fun. It’s something a young person and certainly something my many friends who have died can’t do.

1/14