My son is very sick with some disease which is rare and
there is no cure. The disease involves
his muscles so that he tires easily and suffers from severe muscle pain that can
only be controlled with serious pain killers such as oxycotin and
morphine. I feel very sorry for him as I
know I should but somehow I believe my feelings are not as deep as they
probably should be – and that worries me.
Like they say about the definition of empathy ‘is to feel someone’s
pain’. I can not do that but I try
besides at my age I have enough pain without feeling more from somebody
else. The week of the commemoration of
President Kennedy’s death showed some old film clips many women and some men
are showing intense grief by intense crying with tears running down their
cheeks. I suppose this is a sign of
empathy toward the recent widow.
I remember hearing over the radio of Kennedy’s death when I
was working in a laboratory at the University
of California at Davis .
I was of course shocked as was everyone but I did not cry so I guess I
showed no signs of empathy.
The next day I went pheasant hunting with good friends who
came down from Northern California to join
me. I was able to get some good hunting
land from a friend I knew. Good pheasant
hunting grounds are a valuable commodity and especially in California when fewer owners will allow
hunting on their property. I suppose now
50 years later it is even more difficult.
I would not know because some forty some years ago I moved
to Texas as I
found much better employment here. Now
finding better employment in Texas as opposed
to California
is indeed a rarity for many reasons.
But, my new job was with the Federal Government and had nothing directly
to do with the State of Texas . In addition, my friends who I hunted with
have died.
I remember discussing the President’s death with them. The father of my best friend certainly did
not show any empathy when he noted that the President had been killed with a
‘lead vote’. Now, that was a callous
remark and somewhat surprising to me because he was a kind and generous
man. In many ways I learned more from
him than I did my father and during college and after he was more involved with
my life than was my father.
