NEVER TOO OLD FOR CHEMO

THE OLD RUSTY MAIL

An e-journal for old people

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I ran across this article in the December 2014 issue of the journal Scientific American.  Even though the title does suggest some nasty thoughts, my take was quite the opposite.  No doubt age especially old age does limit us as to our medical options.  I understand that when a person reaches the age of 80 organ transplants are no longer available.  Now this restriction may change as the population as a whole ages.  In a way I hope so because at my age of 82 soon to become 83 I feel like a major medical option which could save my life has suddenly disappeared.  In a way one of my life boats has been cut adrift.

In fact this article reports exactly that age-limitation are changing with us old people in regards to aggressive medical treatments such as chemo therapy.  Simply physicians are attempting more aggressive treatments on old people with advanced cancer.  And why not for Americans are living longer lives.  I read the other day that half of the babies born now will live to be 100!  For me that is not hard to believe for when I was a young person my hope was to live to see the turn of the century.  In the late thirties and early forties life expectancy was 68 years old and being born in 1932 to see 2000 arrive was not a sure thing.

Of course now, life expectancy is something like 78 for men and 81 for women so in 100 years yes it could well be 100 years of age.  Life expectancy of course means that half of a population will reach that age.

This article had a different take on this increased aging thing using cancer as an example.  Now, half of all cancer patients are older than 65 and by 2030 70% over 65 will get cancer.  That is the increase in old cancer patients will have increased by 40% in just 15 years. Three reasons were given why old people have so much cancer: 1 – we have accumulated more exposure to things that cause cancer, 2 – old cells are more vulnerable to cancer and 3 – our immune system which is our primary biological cancer fighter is slowing down.

Not surprising most clinical medical research is done on younger people so how well old people will respond or even tolerate aggressive treatments are not known. Apparently, this situation is changing as medical research studies are beginning to include old people.  This mind set is not surprising as it is just common sense that old people are supposed to die. Well not so fast…

Finally, physicians are beginning to understand that all old people are not alike, that is chronologic age is not as good an evaluator of well being as what is known as physiologic age.  Yes, physiologic age differs greatly among old people.  And, I might be one of those lucky ones who is ‘aging’ slower than many old persons.  I say that because of the following experience I had a few years ago when I had major surgery on my leg which I have written about before in this blog.

I was examined by a young anesthesiologist resident a few days before my surgery to get a handle on my physiologic age although she did not call it that.  Still she wanted to know how old I was other than being in my late 70s.  You know ‘was I going to die on the operating table’?

To begin when she entered my room she exclaimed “You are 78?” asking in a voice exalting amazement. She was even more dumfounded when she learned I had all of my original teeth and I was taking only two meds each day. Simply, she had discovered my physiologic age not my chronologic age and she was astonished.  Clearly, she had not been around very many old people.

On the other hand my geriatric physician understands physiologic aging although she never gave it that name.  The other day she mentioned to me that I was in very good health.  Then she let me know that many of her patients are in terrible health.  Clearly the bar I had just crossed was not very high.

In this article I mentioned earlier, physicians have attempted to measure this physiologic age thing using a Comprehensive Geriatric Assessment.  This measurement takes into account a patient’s strengths and weaknesses which include such things as chronic diseases, medications, cognitive abilities, nutritional status, social support and probably most importantly the ability to perform ‘activities of daily living’. 

Now, we all know what the last assessment includes thus revealing how multiple biologic systems are working together. Now understanding that is a measure of a person’s health which of course is a predictor of how well a person will tolerate the rigors of an aggressive medical treatment. A specific assessment chart has been devised just for patients who need chemo therapy and involves 11 specific questions with a resulting risk score of 0-100.  A high score of course suggest a less aggressive treatment is in order.

Of course age enters into the meaning of this score as a young person might care to undergo aggressive treatment because they potentially have many more years to live than an old person.  Certainly ‘quality of life’ means a great deal to an old person with not much life left to live. You know enjoy those years while you can rather than suffering through aggressive medical treatments just to gain a few months of being sick.

Still old people may want to take the side effects of an aggressive chemo therapy as documented in this article.  The author’s father-in-law who was 91 decided to give it a go which included 35 radiation treatments but after 20 months he is a survivor.  And, at 93 he is doing quite well.  I am not sure I would have taken his route.

Certainly as the article concludes ‘…having lived many years in no way disqualifies you from gunning for more time’.  I could not agree more!!!!!

11/14

PS: I am now nearly 85 years old and in those 2 years I have aged considerably. That is my physical capabilities are more limiting and I have poorer balance all of which compromises my ‘activities of daily living’. So, regarding this article I am beginning to understand what it means to be ‘too old for chemo’.

SMELL AS A PREDICTOR OF DEATH

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

This title is the title of an article on a research study a friend gave me the other day which got me thinking about a previous blog in which I wrote about an interesting physiologic finding that old people smell differently than younger people.  The smell was characterized not a real odor but a different smell.

But, I had forgotten about that smell reference and when I read this title I thought of two other smells.  Certainly, the one which came first is yes when a person dies the corpse if not disposed of properly will put out a pretty heavy odor.  And, an odor I might add is rather distinctive.  Years ago when I was director of a research group at the USAF School of Aerospace Medicine, one of the scientists who worked for me was tardy for work.  As he was a responsible young physician I was concerned.

I phoned his address several times and without an answer I decided to drive over to his apartment and see if there was a problem.  I asked another physician employee, a Lt. Colonel to come with me.  It was a short drive.  When we knocked at his front door and did not get an answer we got the apartment manager to let us in.  When she opened the door she started to go in then she quickly closed it saying he was taking a shower. 

My physician friend caught an odor which had come out of the slightly opened door and told the manager that we had better go in for he suspected something was wrong.  And, indeed something was wrong for the person we were looking for lay dead on the bathroom floor with hot water running from the shower.  The odor was unmistakable and hard to describe but the physician picked up on it with only a slight sniff.

But when you think about it the smell of a dead person is not a predictor of death it is an identifier of death.  Something quite different so that left me with but one smell left which is the inability of old people to detect any odor, fragrance, scent, aroma, whiff, or stink which of course is our sense of smell. Better had the author been more explicit in her title like “Sense of Smell….’.   

The title of the study reported on by Smitha Mundasad of the BBC News was ‘Science of Smell May Predict Lifespan’.  Once again why was the ‘sense of smell’ not included in the title? Anyway, this study on the ‘sense of smell’ was a survey of 3,000 individuals in which 39% with the poorest sense of smell (4-5 errors) were dead in within 5 years compared with moderate smellers 19%  and good smellers (0-1 errors) only 10% had died.

She noted that this study accounted for age, smoking habits, poverty, nutrition and overall health all of which are difficult to control for but I guess it was done. Unfortunately those details were no included. Now when an important detail such as that is left out I begin to wonder about its credibility.  Still, it was fun reading and did relate to us old people so here goes my take on it.

The odor of the oranges was the first to go so I guess a good habit would be to each morning cut an orange in two and catch that fragrance if you can.  If you can’t better begin to write you’re Memoirs, Living Will, and the real Will.   Oh yes, decided what you want your survivors to do with your cold dead body.

And, something else, you might want to consider what kind of memorial service you wish to have, if any.  I write ‘if any’ because I am not sure I want one.  To begin with they tend to be morbid by definition.  Now I have been to some where the theme was along the line of a ‘celebration of that person’s life’.  I have always had a difficult time with that title with celebration in it for somehow a celebration does not seem appropriate.  Still, I understand the attempt here is to cheer up the occasion because morbidity, a natural occurrence, does need more smiles and less tears.

Back to that study which found some 39% dead within five years after the sense of smell was no longer considered up to par. Of course you must realize that 61% of the time you will be wrong.  In fact those 61% still alive might have out lived the good smellers. Oh well…

In that regard my mother lost her sense of smell when she was a young girl probably when she had a serious case of pneumonia.  In those days without antibiotics any case of pneumonia would be considered serious.  Besides losing her sense of smell the disease resulted in her having a residual lung disease which required surgery to correct it which she did in her late forties.  No her sense of smell did not return.

Still her lack of smell did not prevent her from being a rather good cook for I understand that taste and smell are closely related. Now for me as a late teenager living at home her inability to smell was welcomed when I would come home at night after drinking a few beers.  Yes, she could not smell alcohol on my breath!

Like most clinical studies this one really raises more questions than provide answers to why the sense of smell would be compromised with age which in turn predicted the occurrence of death.  One explanation put forth was that it indicated that replacing olfactory cells in the nose is slowing down an indication that replacing other cells might also be on the decline.  Now, slowing down cell replacement growth with age is not an astounding discovery.  I bet most all types of cells are being replaced at a much slower rate.  You know all of our bodily functions are slowing down which is sometimes referred to as physiologic aging.

Still this was an interesting study which might have some implications as a clinical tool to ‘identify patients at risk’ of dying within the next few years.  Of course, when we get to be old we are all at considerable risk of dying. That is, a good clinical tool is simply to look at our birth date and at what age did our parents die will give one a pretty good indication of life expectancy a subject I wrote about several blogs back.

This smell thing has peeked my interest.  I think I will go to the kitchen and cut open an orange. Oh my I don’t have any in the house.  So, I will go down to the grocery store and buy some and list the bill as a medical expense on my Income Tax.

11/14

A BEAUTIFUL DEATH

 The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

Aside from the morbid title this is an interesting blog which I consider to be an uplifting one especially for us old people.  By that statement I mean, it takes the morbid thoughts of death and translates them into a more pleasant experience although not something a person wishes to rush into.  What follows are excerpts taken from an article ‘A Beautiful Death’ from Consumer Reports, a magazine I have subscribed to for many years.  This magazine as the name implies is concerned primarily with testing and recommending a multitude of consumer products ranging from cars to wine.

As a lengthily subscriber I was surprised to read an article which has absolutely nothing to do with consumer products.  Death is not a product which neither needs testing nor recommendations for it is free for all and will be tested and consumed by everyone.  Still, the article is an interesting one I believe worth my take and worthy of your thoughts.

The article centers on a man who is dying of cancer at the age of 86 who refuses medical treatments such as radiation and chemo.  In fact he does not want to return to the hospital, an experience he had lived through a year earlier.  Oh my, I could not agree more about his dislike of hospitals.  My most recent visit involved staying over night after surgery on a major leg artery.  I could not get out of there too soon.

Like he expressed why go through chemo to live a few months longer when I can live a few months with a decent quality of life.  Chemo is a recipe for a drastically poor quality of life.

Of course he involved Hospice Care to be used when the time had come and he did it in a timely fashion that is not waiting until the last few weeks.  I question their take on what they consider to be a timely fashion.  I know of friends who lived a good quality of life until just a few days/weeks before Hospice Care was needed.

It was interesting that he was more willing to die and felt more comfortable going through the process than some of his family members.  One daughter was upset and argued with him about his decision to stop taking one of his meds which was designed to have him live a little longer.

Much of the article involves the thoughts of the Hospice physician as he cares for this dying person.  His job as he explains is the fact that “We’re all going to die and it is my job to make sure that people do so in as calm and beautiful a manner as possible.”  I am not sure that the word beautiful works here but I understand the sentiment.

One family member at the end of the article expressed her thoughts “Dad always told us that he wanted to teach us how to die…And what a great teacher he was.”

It is a beautiful article which is found in the December 2014 issue of Consumers Report and I urge all of us old people to read it.

Another thing I found interesting in this article is the side-bar with statistics from a survey conducted by Consumer Reports regarding death.  As a retired scientist, I love data so I am always drawn to these kinds of numbers:

• 86% wish to spend their last days at home. Where does the other 14% wish to be when they die – in a hospital?  If that is their choice their home-life must be Hell.
• 50% prefer pain management and comfort care over other types of medical treatments.  I assume ‘other types of medical treatments’ includes heroic attempts to keep us breathing a few minutes longer.
• 61% had never heard of palliative (Hospice) care.  This fact surprises me but I suppose these questions were asked of people of all ages.  Certainly most of us old people have heard of Hospice Care but then we have more interest in it.
• 47% have completed a ‘living will’.  I am surprised about this low number but to think of it I had better update mine.  Yes, updating this thing is important.  I remember when my father was near death, I was asked by a physician if he had a living will.  When he learned that his Will was many years old he thought it was invalid as it had not been updated.  Oh well…
• 42% had provided end of life care for a friend or relative.  I assume this means that a person has helped a friend die. 

I have ‘helped’ with the death of two of my close friends.  One was a friend who I had known for nearly 50 years. I went with him alone from the hospital in a panel-type car to a Hospice Care hospital.  This move had been postponed several hours because of bad weather. Upon our arrival at the Care center he was immediately taken to a room on a gurney and moved to a bed.  His breathing was labored and erratic.  The nurse was alarmed about his irregular breathing, we both realizing that he was dying. 

The nurse wanted to give him oxygen to prolong the life which resulted in an argument when I said ‘no’.  I had been told by my friend and his wife that he wanted to die.  He had struggled with his first serious stroke for many years and this one was much worse.  In fact, he had now been in Intensive Care for some ten days!  Yes it took that long for the hospital to give permission for him to be moved to this Hospice facility.  The medical cost for those ten days was $110,000! I guess they didn’t want him moved because he was a ‘cash cow’.

My second experience was when my very best friend, who I had first met in college, was dying and I spent his last night of living sharing the bed with him.  He was in a very deep sleep, possibly a coma so I doubt if he knew I was there.  I continue to think he knew, at least I hope he knew.  The next morning I left the room for a few minutes.  When I returned his breathing was irregular so I notified the family members who all came to be by his side as he died.  I held his hand.

In a way I enjoyed helping my close friends die of course not in a morbid sense but in a loving way as I remembered all of the good times we had together.  And, those ‘good times’ seemed like they happened yesterday.

But us old people all have those memories of many years past remembering them as they had happened but a few days ago, until we suddenly know better.

This blog was written two years ago and as I read it now before I publish it, my thoughts have not changed.  Quite to the contrary, death is now two years closer for me but interestingly it becomes less important. During those two years, I have given a copy of this article from Consumer Reports to friends who were dying.  They found comfort in it so I recommend it to all us old people, especially those of us nearing death.

11/14

   

 

LIFE TRIBUTES

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

My local newspaper the San Antonio Express News continues to make changes in an attempt to make it more appealing.  This makes sense for newspapers are in a fight to remain profitable as they compete with several different venues which offer news. Many of these changes are strictly cosmetic in order to appear to give the reader a feeling of experiencing a more advanced approach in getting the news.  You know a feeling that this old mode of delivering news is keeping up with the many TV news channels, Web news on computers, and I phones all of which provide news streams which include instantly everything that can be called news.

Of course one change in my newspaper which continues unabated is the fact that it gets smaller.  A while ago I noticed the Bridge section had disappeared in the section entitled my SA.  In fact this section is reduced to only three pages.  With double-sided printing I guess it could be called six pages.  Another loss was the physician’s column which attempted to make diagnoses that had been missed by physicians using hands on examination with multiple medical tests of the patient.  I always considered that quite a feat of medical skill coming up with a better diagnosis using a small paragraph of symptoms as described by the patient.

This section also contains the comics which have also shrunk considerably.  Still the Sudoku and Crossword puzzles remain for without those features subscribers would leave by droves.  Luckily for the printed news these games can not now be accomplished while watching TV or your computer.  You noticed I wrote ‘not now’ for I am not sure what the future holds in regard to these e-things.

Now that I have established that my newspaper is getting smaller and as it attempts to modernize it has focused on the obituary section.  Well that was what it used to be named but now it is Life Tributes.  And, with this change comes much larger individual life stories now with much larger photographs of the deceased frequently one as a younger person and the other a more recent shot.  I guess this approach makes some sense as I have written before in this e-journal entitled ‘Obituaries’. 

Of course when a person dies at a relatively young age the photographs appear to be bothers or sisters staring at the reader.  Another thing I have noticed is that the older picture is not always that recent which makes me look at it again when I read how old that person was at death.  As an example today I saw a picture of someone in their early fifties who was born in 1921!  Come on that person died at the age of 93.  Certainly a more recent photograph would be in order.

I have a feeling that these obituaries as they appear to be more modern looking are actually taking up much more space.  I assume that this kind of ‘news’ is much cheaper to obtain so why not make it larger thereby making the newspaper appear that it has not shrunk more than it actually has.

I suppose Life Tributes is a more modern title for this section and perhaps more fun reading when the reason for this section is death which of course is really an obituary.  Now I looked up the obituary word in my computer dictionary to find exactly what obituary means.  Well it is (1) announcement of death and (2) recording death neither of which has the word Life in it. Now in the first description listed above it does note that it may contain a short biography of the dead person.

So with the title Life Tributes the newspaper is making the real reason for this announcement of death secondary to the biography section of an obituary.  Strange because the main purpose here is the death notice.

I suppose this all goes back to the fact that people do not like to think about death or dying nor do they like to read about it each morning as they face a new day in which one’s death is possible.  So, now when I read the obituaries in my modernized newspaper my mind is not about that person’s death but more about how that person lived and their contributions to society.

In this section there is always one person singled out with a much larger life tribute found at its beginning.  In fact, it takes up nearly half of the page.  This tribute written by the newspaper staff writers begins with a large bold printed title announcing some reason for this extra tribute.  As I look at the other life tributes which follow I find some of those who have died to have accomplished a great deal perhaps even more than the person who is the headliner. So, I ask myself how does someone suddenly escalate to a celebrity in death.  Who decides which person gets the star treatment?

Oh well life goes on and being chosen as a headliner for the Life Tributes section is of no consequence to those people whom I believe would have preferred this tribute to be acknowledged before they had died.

Yes, when a person dies it is difficult to imagine that person enjoying any tribute which announces some good things they did in life.  Of course if you believe that this person is looking down from Heaven and enjoying this recognition then it does make sense.  But, that is another story.

This specific article on life tributes was prompted by a Wednesday edition of the newspaper – really nothing special until I noticed the title of a short column entitled ‘Notable Passing’ next to the large headliner four-column spread I just wrote about.  It read ‘Dropkick Me, Jesus among Craft’s hits’. Now there is a headliner.

10/14

Please note that the date which appears at the end of these articles is when they were written.

LET’S DISRUPT AGING

THE OLD RUSTY NAIL

 AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

         Russell Burton, an Old Person

The title of this article is from the title of a piece written by American Association for Retired People (AARP) CEO, Jo Ann Jenkins in the October 2014 issue of that publication.  The author having been President of this organization before becoming its CEO I would peg her age in late 50s or early 60’s guessing from accompanying photograph. Of course published photographs can be misleading but her article indicates that she is somewhere in that age bracket.

AARP membership begins when a person reaches 50 years of age so I suppose she could not have started those careers before she was 50 assuming you must be a member of AARP in order to hold those offices. On the other hand, AARP doesn’t ask for IDs so I suppose someone if they so chose could become a member of this organization at the ripe old age of 49.

What is interesting about AARP is that it is a group formed in support of retired people as its name implies.  Now, people have been known to retire in their 20’s but of course the vast majority of retirees are late mid-life to being old like me.  Still, I did retire when I was in my late 60’s and like I have written before, that decade is a piece of cake regarding aging.  In fact, being old could not have been further from my mind.

This takes me back to the intent of the title of this article.  Of course for someone in their early 60’s to talk about aging is like a physician telling sick people how they feel.  At that age, I was at the apex of my career and aging really never crossed my mind.  I assume being CEO of such a large corporation as AARP is probably the pinnacle of Ms. Jenkins’s career.  So, why is she thinking about aging? Well she is in her AARP article.

AARP because of its intent has always struggled to identify with really old people who need the most help with the symptoms of old age.  Certainly youngsters in their 60’s and even in their 70’s are perfectly capable of living with much less support.  And, that is too bad because we old people do need a strong advocate as we deal with this 'disease' of old age. 

So, Jo Ann is beginning to struggle with this age thing as she is determined not to be defined, as she named it, with one’s age.  As if when someone reaches the ancient age of 60 they are thus identified as being old.  To be exact we are always identified with our age.  You know first I was a baby, then a child or adolescent and then a teenager too young to legally drink alcohol and vote in a national election.  Then I became a young adult and suddenly without warning, I was middle-age which depending on one's view point can continue into the 70’s.

Yes, I said the 70’s which I learned when I was told of a study conducted by an expert in management dynamics.  You see I worked for the Air Force as a scientist for nearly thirty years.  During that time I was sent to several management classes in order to sharpen my management skills.  I must confess that my management skills did need sharpening.  In fact, I had too few management skills to sharpen as I later learned.

None the less, there I was deeply engrossed in my management class much of which I do not remember except this one tidbit of information.  The instructor told us that during one of his classes several years before he took an ad hoc survey on those people present about whom in his class considered themselves to be middle aged?  Most everyone raised their hand including a man in his 70’s!  Certainly age was not going to define him.

Jo Ann goes on to explain that this disrupting aging thing begins by feeling good about where we are in life.  Well, I hope she feels good about herself with her lofty position. Still, I could not agree more for when I was in my 70’s and retired and after some struggle with my loss of purposefulness I really felt good about where I was in my life but then I had no choice.  My goodness, I feel good about where I am in my life at age 84 + because I am still alive!  That alone is sufficient to make one feel good.

She goes on making herself feel good about growing old with the following statements: we face different challenges (you bet) and have different goals (staying alive is one big one); we are motivated by different things; we see the world through a lens shaped by ups and downs and gained wisdom; with age I am more ‘purposeful’ because of my experiences and wisdom; and, looking forward to the years ahead not looking back.

For some of us really old people we have to look forward because we can’t remember much when we do look back.

Her use of the word ‘purposeful’ intrigued me so I looked up the meaning in my Webster’s New World Thesaurus.  Essentially she means one is more focused when we age.  Now, I certainly disagree with that because before I retired I was extremely focused on my job as she must be.  When I retired I struggled for years trying to find my focus because in retirement I had lost it.  One day I was Chief Scientist of an Air Force laboratory and the next day I was a retired nobody obviously without a purpose.

So, I wonder how someone with a challenging job like she has as CEO of a multi-million dollar organization can understand what the realities of retirement are much less the challenges of being old.  Now I am quite certain that I will not live long enough to ask her about purposefulness when she is retired and living in the 80’s age bracket (if she is lucky) because I would be over a hundred.  Thoughts about living that long boggle my mind and I would not classify them as being in my hopes, dreams and aspirations.  

Yes, she can talk about the fun of growing old, because for her it is probably 20 + years from now and as I have written before, humans think about the future differently than they do the present.  And, the future has a nasty habit of suddenly becoming the here and now.

Still I like what she is trying to do by making aging a fun game.  Unfortunately it is not a game and it is not that much fun.  Still aging is a privilege which us old people must realize because not understanding that it is indeed a privilege would make being old a very depressing experience.  In that regard, I guess I am disrupting aging and living a relatively pain-free life is purposeful.

10/14

WANTING TO DIE AT 75 YEARS OLD

The old rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

The other day I saw Dr. Ezekial Emanuel, a practicing physician, affectionately called Zeke on public television (PBS).  He is the oldest and considered the smartest of the three rather famous Manuel’s including one of his brothers who is mayor of Chicago formerly Chief of Staff at the White House under President Obama.

During his interview he was most emphatic about his desire to die when he reached the young age of 75 years.  I note ‘a young age’ because as I look back several years when I was 75 I recall asking myself what is so difficult about this growing old stuff?

Then a couple of years later I began to notice a difference in my physical abilities including balance and the tendency to fall down with greater discomfort than I had previously experienced.  Another problem I acquired was a severe pain in my right leg as I walked even short distances. 

As I have written before, I put off seeing a physician for a couple of years as I thought it was somehow related to the minor drop foot I had acquired prior to this leg pain. You know the pitfalls of self-diagnosis.  But, when I did go for an examination I found that they were not related and that the leg pain could be treated with surgery.  Following the four hours of surgery and my rather rapid recovery and rehabilitation I was able to walk without any pain even one of longer than an hour.

The drop foot caused by a nerve disorder could have been treated with surgery when it first occurred.  Unfortunately, I had waited too long.

When Zeke was pressed by exactly what he meant about dying at age 75 he hedged his statement with the caveat that ‘well he was not going to kill himself but would not seek any medical care after he reached that age’.  When I heard that statement I remembered my leg surgery and how my quality of life was substantially improved because of it.

Zeke went on to note that there are so many disabilities associated with being old that the smart thing to do is just die.  You know he mentioned Alzheimer’s disease, reduced physical capabilities, chronic joint pain, and lack of creativity, just to name a few.  Well welcome to old age Zeke but I am not about to die and I have lived seven years plus passed your magical age of 75 and I am doing pretty well.  Oh sure I’m no 75 year old but I don’t want to die right now.

I was particularly upset about this ‘lack of creativity’ nonsense.  I hear this frequently that an old mind is not creative.  No not ‘as creative’ but dogmatically ‘not creative’ anymore.  Well I published a fantastic mystery novel ‘Mary’ of over 80,000 words which is available on Amazon Kindle for $5.99 when I was 79.  I started writing this Blog on old people when I was 80.  In fact I could not have written about being old starting at 80 without being 80!!!

Now he did concur that there are some ‘outliers’ who are doing pretty well regarding all of his listed infirmities like I am a rarity you know one in a million.  Well not so fast.  I play bridge on a regular basis with three ‘old people’ two of which are older than me, one of which is 87 and she is very capable at the game.  I have written about my uncle who is 92 and he is no mental cripple by any means not to mention the pleasure he has with his Scotch on the rocks each evening.

So what does Zeke mean by outliers?  In fact, I have monthly luncheons with my retired friends and except for one person all of us are mentally alert and physically capable of living a productive still interesting life.  Well some of them never did live a real interesting life even when they were in their prime.

Now Zeke is about 57 years old so 75 is a long way in the future and like I wrote about people are not good at thinking far into the future.  We evolved thinking about the here and now for several reasons one of which is survival.  We have in our DNA the desire to survive at all costs and that involves reacting to the present, not something several years down the road.  Simply, the future can not be appreciated in the present so it is caste off with only casual thought.

But the future has a nasty habit of becoming the present. And, the present must be dealt with now not in the future which takes us back to quality of life. 

Like I have written a good quality of life is just about everything in old age.  And, a good quality of life for old people requires hard work.  When we retire we too often think now I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.  You know, my whole life has been filled with requirements many of which I disliked so now that is all gone.

Well, doing some form of physical exercise most everyday is work but it must be done!  Stimulating the brain with mental gymnastics requires effort but it must be done!  You know the old adage, ‘use it or loose it’.  A few years ago a common saying was, ‘a brain is a terrible thing to waste’ but even worse is ‘a brain going to waist is a terrible thing’.   

So, with that very clever turn of words, I close with the thought growing old is interesting but being old is damn hard work yet still interesting Zeke.

PS:

In the October 2014 issue of the Atlantic magazine Zeke wrote an article expressing the same sentiments under the title ‘Why I Hope to Die at 75’. I was intrigued by the correspondence from readers of this article published in the next issue under the heading ‘The Conversation’.

Many of my above views were echoed especially from the older readers.  And like my take the overwhelmingly majority of 74% of all ages disagreed with his ‘Hope’ (and dreams?) of dying at that age.  Of course quality of life was noted many times, simply living just to be living for most readers was not an option.

Of the several letters published many from older readers, not one mentioned that living to be an old person is living another role in life’s journey with many challenges but still very interesting if one’s quality of life remains at an acceptable level.  Half of the population does not have the privilege for they have died.

I liked one letter best recalling his 85-aged grandmother answer when asked who would want to live to be 100?  She replied ‘Someone 99’.  Simply, Zeke does not know what he is writing about until he lives to be 75 then he will probably want to live to be 76, then 77…

12/14

LOCUS OF CONTROL/BEING INTERNAL

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I recently read an interesting book entitled, Choice or Chance by Stephen Nowicki.  It was recommend in the June 2016 issue of Discover.  I was fascinated by the title Choice or Chance with the subtitle Understanding Your Locus of Control And Why it Matters.

Also, I was intrigued by the short write up in the Discover magazine so I went down to my local bookstore Barnes and Nobles and ordered it.  In a couple of days I got a phone call telling me that the book had arrived.  It is a paperback book costing about $20 which is a bit pricey for a paperback, but I am glad I bought it.  Still to some degree disappointed because I thought it would be somewhat different than it is.

Now psychology is a type of science in which no information on a subject ever becomes a theory because there is no way to prove or disprove it.  So, such information always remains a hypothesis or some organized thought or idea on a specific subject. I am not arguing that psychological concepts are not useful in understanding the mind. The subject of this book Locus of Control (LOC) is about ‘how we understand the world and our place in it’. Who doesn’t want to know that!!!

Chapter 1 defined the meaning of LOC and why it is important to everyone. I was fascinated by this chapter and read it thoroughly.  It began with a fun quote from Mae West, ‘You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough’. Now those are words to live by and comforting to us old people who think that we are doing it right!

I quickly found out that there are two groups of people relative to their behavior.  One type of person has control over their lives called Internal and the other type who believes fate has handed them a bad deal or are unlucky named External.  Of course the first group is Choice in the title and the other group is identified with the word Chance. It became clear with further descriptions of these two groups it is best to be Internal.

The author defines the Internal person as one who: (1) takes responsibility; (2) is persistent; (3) delays gratification; (4) learns; and, (5) resists coercion. Hey, what can go wrong with being Internal? Well apparently they are candidates for: stress, increased anxiety, feeling of guilt and self-criticism when goals are not met, fear loss of control, feeling insecure, and lonely. You know experiencing the good with the bad.  Still, once again it became clear as I read further that it is better to be Internal than External.

Surprise, surprise what follows is a list of 40 questions with the ability to describe what kind of person the reader is: Internal, External, or kind of in-between. Since it is best to be Internal as the author suggests that everyone who is not should work hard to become one, I took the test with some in trepidation. My score was 5 which made me an Internal guy. The Internal group had a range of 0 – 8. I guess being a scientist almost makes a person Internal for we must learn that life is more than luck or fate or we could never have passed our Oral Exam for our PhD degree.  On the other hand, I suppose most candidates might offer a little prayer going in to take their Orals.

It soon became clear to me that the author was intrigued with this subject and one who had most of his life developed this concept.  Consequently, the book began to investigate this subject in much greater depth than interested me.  I imagine that if I was a psychologist I would have enjoyed how LOC related to achievement in school, business, and sports. How it related to coping with relating, psychological disorders, and physical illness and injury. Hey, I just found out that I am an Internal guy at the top of my game so I will do good in all of those things.  And, at 84 years of being an Internal person, I have fought a good fight and I think winning most of the time.  No surprise here, being Internal I should have succeeded! 

I was disappointed in not reading about his take on religion which by definition relates to the External person.  You know, can someone who believes in a God ever be an Internal? Interestingly, I have friends who are religious with advanced degrees in science.  That concerned me but they must be able to compartmentalize it for a scientist can’t really believe in fate or good luck. I guess to them somehow, God rises above fate and luck.

I had an experience when I was 5 years old which is relevant to understanding Chance.  I was riding my tricycle on the sidewalk when crossing the opening to an alley a car coming out of it at a relatively high speed hit me.  I was thrown several feet out onto the street.  The car without stopping sped off.  The noise of the impact brought my mother and several neighbors running to me expecting the worse seeing me lying in the street on a demolished tricycle. Amazingly, I was not hurt, not even scratched! I am sure some Believers knew it was God looking over me which I understand but can easily discount.  On the other hand, this is an example of Chance which can best be described as involving fate or luck!

So, I assume we all could become External depending on the circumstance.  I have heard that there are no atheists in fox holes. So, when the Internal is in a life-threating situation by choice where the outcome cannot be controlled will the Internal become interested in fate and luck? And oh yes God…

This a good question for, as an old person, I think of death every once in a while. Now, death is an important event in a person’s life.  In fact, in many ways it could be called the most important event one encounters after a person is born (no one remembers that) for it lasts an eternity and life lasted but a few decades.  So, how does an Internal handle being old and approaching death? For us there is no glorious Heaven, just death.

The author only address this subject once and that is on page 51 with the simple statement that in late adulthood, which I guess he means when we are old, ‘…we stop becoming more Internal and begin to become more External’. He never explains why he thinks this metamorphosis occurs but I assume that the prospect of death is a good possibility. Simply death can only be conquered by an External. He does include a study of older people who should be becoming more External which addressed his concept of a ‘cognitive training experience’. This program ‘Advanced Cognitive Training for Independent and Vital Elderly’ (ACTIVE) was tried in people over 65 years of age (not what I call old).  And, yes this program did reverse the change toward becoming External with age and become more Internal.

So, the more Internal we are the better our life will be, usually.  I suppose that some Internals try too hard and without the success promised by it, become Externals thus going from Choice to Chance.

Of course, I wish more information was provided regarding LOC on old age such as us old people in our 80s are experiencing.  More and more, I find that once I have lived to be old I have more interest in learning about old people.  On the other hand, I find less information on being old. This lack of information on us old people occurs in many subjects.  And why not, everyone thinks we should be dead.  

I guess I should feel lucky for more of my colleagues/friends have died than are still living. Did I just suggest that luck has been involved in living to be this old? Well maybe… You know, perhaps be more External in our old age and put our lives in the hands of fate and hope and pray for the best.

5/16

HONORED CITIZENS

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

In my first article I struggled using the adjective ‘old’ in describing us aged persons beginning at 80 years of age.  I went through a series of words which are used to identify us as related to our age finally deciding that old was the best word to use without hurting the feelings of any one who is at least 80 years old.

I have a friend who lives in Portland Oregon who has informed me that their trolley and bus systems which by the way are very good allow people beginning at 65 years of age to ride at the reduced rate of only $1.  These people are named ‘honored citizens’.  How wonderful to provide cheap transportation to us old people most of whom are on what is called a fixed income. 

I will take issue with the age a person becomes honored.  Certainly, 65 years of age is not old.  I was still working at my profession when I was that age. So I am a bit confused by what ‘honored’ really means. So, I looked up this word in my Webster’s New World Thesaurus and found that the word honored can have several meanings.  And, these are the wonderful words which I found: respected, revered, decorated, privileged, celebrated, well-known, esteemed, eminent, distinguished, identified, noble, recognized, highly-regarded, and venerated. 

Oops I don’t see ‘cheap rides’ and ‘being old’ as criteria for the privilege of being honored.  I probably didn’t see it because I have a cheap edition of a thesaurus.  Still I am honored that Portland has tagged us old people with so many wonderful descriptive words.

Obviously then, being honored as defined by age is really far more than being old and being old includes far more than just having a lot of years on our bodies.  Could I be respected, esteemed and distinguished just because I am old?  I always wanted to be those things and now I am?  Until now, I was totally unaware that just staying alive for a long time ushered me into such a high quality of class.

Of course most cities don’t recognize us old people as having such esteemed qualities.  And, that is too bad because we have contributed to society for all of those years.  And, in retirement we still attempt to do some good things for our community.  So, most of us in some degree have earned the honored badge.

On the other hand, just maybe there is one of those above listed analogs which does apply to old age.  So, let’s take a look:

• Respected – might work for suddenly a couple of years ago I was referred to by perfect strangers as ‘sir’. And, I get to go into a building ahead of younger people.  Well sometimes…
• Revered – to be honored yes but just because I am old?
• Decorated – for just being old?  Where is my medal?
• Privileged – well with discounts for being old I guess I am privileged.
• Celebrated – I did not celebrate when I got old but maybe I should have for like I have written before, growing old is a privilege which more than half of my friends will not enjoy.
• Well-known – I don’t think being old makes me well-known.  In fact as my friends, who knew me best die I am really becoming less well known.
• Esteemed - I don’t think I am admired more than when I was younger.
• Eminent – well-known, renowned, important, distinguished, famous, reputed, prominent?  Just for being old? Not really, but many years ago living my career I did enjoy some of those very nice words.
• Distinguished – I don’t think old age made me distinguished.
• Identified – this one does fit for now I am identified as an old person.
• Noble – being old my moral character has not improved, I am not an aristocrat nor magnificent for being old?
• Recognized – no more than when I was younger. Perhaps even less so…
• Highly-regarded – being old has not increased this so-called attribute.
• Venerated – wow, to regard someone with profound respect or to honor somebody as sacred or special.  I guess being old is somehow special, but sacred?

So, thank you Portland for being so generous with your ‘honored’ badge even if it is deserved only sporadically in the above list.

I have visited Portland a couple of times and found it to be a marvelous city with its center full of wonderful restaurants, many useful stores, theaters and museums all

accessible by several inexpensive modes of communal transportation.  In fact, Portland is indeed the only good-sized city of which I am aware where all of a person’s living and entertainment needs are well within walking distance.  And, it is a friendly city full of parks nestled beside a rather large river.

Indeed Portland is a great city where it is a privilege (by definition) to be an honored citizen. On the other hand I would rather be honored with the numerous definitions which

I have listed than earning it the hard way by simply growing old.  In fact, it would be honored when I was much younger so I could enjoy it for many more years.  Being old by definition describes a limited duration when it can be enjoyed.

But in this column I will continue to use the word ‘old’ to describe my ‘honored’ condition making it very clear that even though I would love to be included in all of those definitions of honored I simply must acknowledge that it was earned simply by living a very long time.

Once again I sign off asking my readers that my exciting mystery e-novel Mary is available on Amazon so get your Kindle out and order it today for the ridiculously low price of $5.95.

Yes, I realize that this article is a short one but I had to get the word ‘honored’ out in public where everyone of my many readers can bask in its glories. Love you all and for my old readers keep the faith!

10/14

90 + YEARS OF AGE

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

Last night I watched the CBS ‘60 Minutes’ show and enjoyed the segment on 90+ Aging.  A scientist found an old study conducted in 1980 concerning several thousand 60-year-old subjects.  She got a grant from NIH to study the survivors now when they are in their 90's. 

Her findings were very interesting and controversial for sure as many of the things she found were opposite of what we have been taught.  Not surprising the killer was smoking for none of those interviewed were now smoking.  I assume that many of the survivors sometimes in their lives had smoked.  This was not mentioned but apparently, all of those who were smokers in 1980 were now dead.

I was a heavy smoker beginning in my late teens when I joined a fraternity house in 1951.  Back then distributors of brands of cigarettes would come by the house and give each of us a free pack.  I think ‘Lucky Strikes’ and ‘Camels’ were the most common brands.  That was before filtered cigarettes made the scene.

Of course the idea was to get you into the habit, one which is easy to start and very difficult to break.  I got hooked but then the health risks were not known and cigarettes cost about 18 cents a pack.  Even that cheap I would bum smokes from friends for on many occasions I could not afford a pack. I guess today a pack costs over $5 and people still smoke cigarettes and the health risks are well known. For fun I calculated that it would be costing me today smoking three packs a day for a year - about $5500!  Of course the real answer would be zero for I would be dead.

I continued to smoke cigarettes, cigars, and even a pipe until I was in my mid thirties when I quit cold turkey.  Then I was smoking three packs a day with a cigar tossed in and perhaps a pipe bowl of tobacco.  After dinner in the evening I would smoke a pack of cigarettes before I went to bed.  When I quite I was a graduate student and animal pathologist at the University of California at Davis.  I remain friendly with a fellow graduate student who frequently remarks that back then I was smoking all three forms of tobacco at the same time!  Oh my…

When I quit for good it was a horrible struggle.  I had quit several times before once for as long as six months, but I went back to them.  When I had quite before it was not that difficult but when I quit the last time it was extremely painful.  I write painful because mentally it was with great anguish.  I told my boss that I was doing nothing except sitting at my desk staring at the wall.  He was a terrific guy and had been a smoker himself so he understood the nightmare I was going through.  After three long months I had finally beat the habit!

Today there are aids available to help a smoker kick the habit.  You know, like nicotine patches and other things.  I guess they help but all that does is make quitting less painful so the penalties of starting to smoke again are less.

Now the thought of having just one cigarette is not without a mixture of fear, disgust, and relief that I have beat the habit. I have friends who have quit and still can have an occasional cigarette but not me for sure. Of course I am so pleased that I did quit for I have friends who continued to smoke who have died or are suffering the ill health consequences of the habit.  They will never live to be 90.

During the show I compared my habits and health markers with those discussed on the show.  And, I was very pleased that I am right on target to make the nineties and I think with reasonably good health.  So, I went to bed with a smile on my face assuring myself that I have a decade more to enjoy life.  Well, that is silly but I think the odds are in my favor.

What was interesting to me were some of the facts of having long life ran counter to what I and I am sure many of you readers were led to believe.  In fact being over weight, drinking a reasonable amount of alcohol on a daily basis, and above average blood pressures all were beneficial!  Not only were they helpful in living a long healthy life but the opposite was true for those who were thin, did not drink alcohol and had low blood pressure.  Amazing…

Well the above information fit my lifestyle perfectly except for the overweight.  I am not underweight but I guess that small difference will not kill me.  Now what is a reasonable amount of alcohol can be debated.  A couple of drinks of wine were mentioned and it did not have to be red wine.  In fact, the beneficial ingredient here was simply alcohol.  And, I think I detected from her that more than two drinks each day might even work better.

My geriatric physician considers a systolic blood pressure of 160 and a diastolic of 90 as acceptable.  I just took mine and it is 159 over 77.  A lower diastolic is better than a lower systolic for it allows the heart to rest some between heart beats.  My former family physician had my systolic below 120!

Another finding which was also some what surprising was the numerous different kinds of vitamin and mineral supplements were not beneficial.  From that information I will assume that taking these supplements were not of any benefit at all.

Of course, the real benefit regarding life style was exercise.  Even a simple walk for a few minutes each day was helpful.  I was not surprised about the benefits of exercise.  Still, I wish she had been more exact about the benefits regarding the types and amounts of exercise, but I assume that that information could not be obtained in the study.   It was mentioned that only 15 minutes each day of some form of mild exercise extended one’s life.

Being active socially was a big plus not to be a surprise and romance was still something to pursue. That reminded me of when I was a young man in my twenties I had a party at my house.  One guest was a woman in her late 80s.  Her grandson asked her when she stopped thinking about sex.  She said with a smile on her face, “You have to ask someone older than me.”

Dementia was discussed at length which was not surprising for mental health is a major concern for us old people.  People are not good at much of anything except for their fantastic brain and the tremendous thought processes which it generates. Certainly old age dementia is a complex issue but with some light at the end of the tunnel regarding a better understanding and future treatments.  Still, it is a terrible malady.

I wish they had gone into more detail on what they found regarding helpful habits to prevent its occurrence.  You know, keeping the mind active with such activities as reading, Sudoku, and crossword puzzles.  I guess my mind is still working okay as I remembered all of this stuff from the show last night.

I know I was blown away with the results of this study as are some of my chums with whom I have discussed it.  But, as I think about these ‘strange findings’ I am convinced that old age is a different stage of life.  So, why shouldn’t the health indicators also be different?  As, I have written many times before I knew when I entered my last stage of life, you know when I recognized I was old obviously something inside of me had changed.  

So now I’m better off with higher blood pressure, being a little fat, and having a few drinks in the evening.  You know I might get to like this being old stuff.

5/14

 HOW OLD IS OLD?

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I ran across an e-article when I was looking for how much exercise someone my age should do each week.  I read numerous articles without finding a specific answer to my question.  As I should have expected, there aren’t really valid suggestions relating certain exercises or their amounts to any age group.  I was hoping at my age of 84 years I would find out that exercises are of no benefit to someone my age because I do not enjoy going to the gym several times each week. But, while I am there I see lots of people who appear to be having fun although I admit most of them are much younger. 

Well, I didn’t find what I had hoped to find because it was plain that some forms of physical exercises are useful throughout a person’s life regardless of age.  Obviously, I did not like that finding but I all really knew that physical exercises are of benefit regardless of age.

Still my search was not in vain for what I did discover was that old age has classifications for different age groups which are: early-old age (65-75 years of age); middle-old age (75-85) and very old is 85 years of age and older. Oh my, I have less than a year before I am ‘very old’.  So, I have concerns regarding this classification system.  Now, I am a scientist who has classified or grouped things regarding quantity many times in my research career, so it seems to me that going from ‘middle-old age’ suddenly to ‘very old’ in just one year is not right. You know, simply ‘old age’ was somehow left out.

In addition there were no explanations regarding the boundaries of these groups.  That is, other than age what makes these groups exist? Why does early-old age begin at 65? I was still working as a US Air Force laboratory Chief Scientist when I was 65 so I certainly did not feel like I was beginning my old-age experience.

So not knowing why these groups exist, I asked myself, what will happen when I reach this magical very-old age of 85?  You know, how will I feel?  Well this does concern me because like I have written before, when I reached 80 I suddenly felt old and that was a shock because in my 70's I felt kind of middle age whatever that feels like. Now, by looking at this age classification system, I should have felt something about this aging feeling when I reached 75 and became ‘middle-age old’, but that didn’t happen! So, I guess I was doing really well regarding this aging feeling thing. Still once again, it was never explained what it would feel like when someone enters each bracket. You know, how I am doing with this aging process.  Am I ahead of the game or falling behind?

I suppose it really does not matter which it is because age is age and time does not slow down. Einstein showed us that with his Space Time Theory. I know I sometimes kid myself into believing that by exercising at the gym I will slow down this aging process.  I have found that that is not happening because even though I go to the gym for exercises several times a week, I am still getting older and older.

Now, this classification thing has me wondering, maybe I should have felt old when I turned 75 but that did not happen until I reached 80.  That is, the feelings I got of feeling old at 80 was kind of a feeling that is supposed to occur with this ‘middle-old-age’ classification? If that is the case, I am growing older slower than I am supposed to.  So, I will not feel very old until I am 90! On the other hand, I am supposed to feel ‘middle-old age’ until I am 85 but I feel old at 80.

Well, this is both good news and bad news.  I was unaware that these age brackets existed.  I thought that being old was enough but I should have known better for I have written about my yearly physical changes which have occurred since I reached the age of 80.  There are several of them and none are what I consider as good.  And, yes they are making me feel like I am getting just ‘old’ but not really ‘very old’.

So, if I look at my present feelings about being old at 80 and not 75 does that mean I will not be ‘very old’ until I am 90?  And, when or where did ‘old’ happen? Thus, I suggest a change in this classification by having ‘middle-age-old’ from 75-80.  Then ‘old’ from 80 to 85 when people become really ‘very old’ and remain that way until they die.  On the other hand maybe we could add another group like ‘very-very old’ at 90 or perhaps ‘ancient’ might be appropriate.

So, with my always inquisitive mind I went to my Thesaurus and looked up ‘ancient’ which sent me to ‘old’ where I found numerous words like: infirm, inactive, enfeebled, decrepit, exhausted, impaired, broken-down, wasted, doddering, senile, having one foot in the grave, gone to seed, ragged, broken down, out of use, dilapidated, useless, tattered and there are many more.  Oh there were other words which were not this disheartening but still…

Now, I think these new classes I propose make lots of sense but it really has not changed anything regarding my aging process.  I just know that my physical condition and capabilities began to change significantly and noticeably when I turned 80 thus beginning this old-age process. And, it is coming on much more rapidly than I expected still I am not doddering, broken-down, or impaired.

My uncle will turn 94 in a couple of months which means he has been ‘very old’ for nearly 10 years.  I phone him about once a month or he phones me to see how we are doing.  He lives with his daughter in his lovely home which be bought in the 1930’s.  Next time we talk I must ask him what ‘very-old age’ feels like. On the other hand, maybe I don’t want to know.  Then maybe he has yet to become ‘very old’ whatever that means.

Well I am about to go to the gym for my weightlifting exercises for the week. I know it doesn’t stop this aging thing but maybe when I fall next time (and I will) I won’t break any bones.

4/16

AN UPDATE ON ME BEING OLD 

The Old Rusty Nail

AN E-JOURNAL FOR OLD PEOPLE

Russell Burton, an Old Person

I just had my 84^th birthday. I guess it is something to celebrate for not many people get a chance to do so and at my age there are fewer survivors each day as I grow older.  And, being old is a serious challenge which I have addressed before on this Blog.  In fact, each year the challenge grows more serious as I find myself not being physically capable of doing things I could do with ease just a year ago.  Yes, changes are coming more rapidly than I expected and this concerns me for I do not have many changes left in me.  I fear not as many changes as I can tolerate for I probably have several years left to live. Well, that is my thought now.

I will attempt to document some of those changes I have experienced since I turned 80 years of age when I decided I had become old and started to write this Blog.  Of course this metamorphosis being old was indeed a gate through which I recognized as significant and one in which there was no turning back, for this was a journey of time and a person cannot turn back the clock. Simply these were changes which I have found occur more rapidly each year.

I think the most aggressive change I have found is in my ambulation, you know walking either for simple exercise or to get someplace.  This was once a form of exercise which everyone calls probably the best form of physical activity available especially for old people.  Some four years ago I had a regular walk which I took about three times a week each of which covered about 3 miles that took me about an hour.  Frequently, I had a friend walk with me.  Over these four years, my walk went down to 2 miles then just a walk through the park which was about one mile until now I will no longer even attempt that.  And, my friend who is a few years younger than I am has recently become quite ill with pneumonia and COPD so that she can no longer do this walk.  I suppose she could come back from her medical problems and do that walk again. But not me, because my problem is not medical it is simply age!

Now, I am admitting to a profound change in one of my physical activities which I thought I could continue to perform until I died. Yes, some of my physical problems involves back pain but the work of walking that distance three times a week is just too great for me to perform anymore.  Of course, this is distressing but even more so because it has happened so rapidly. Yes, a year ago I was walking in the park and enjoying it.

Not only my capability in this walk is gone, I have no desire to even attempt to do it.  And, this lack of enthusiasm for my walk I see in just doing odd jobs about the house.  One such activity is keeping my patio deck cleared of leave.  Instead of doing it daily when there are few leaves I put it off for several days when it becomes a major chore. By that I mean instead of just a few minutes to do that job like it did a year or so ago it will take me nearly an hour.  And, it hurts…Why do I do this?  Because I have lost the motivation necessary for me to get out there and do it when I should!!!!!

When I went to a store I would park further from it than I had to so I would get some walking exercise.  Now I try to get as close to that store door as I can.  And, I am thinking about getting a handicap sign to hang from my car rear-view mirror to get parking closest to the store!

I continue to go to the gym for strength training and my aerobics on the stationary bike which I use to do each twice a week.  I have found excuses to reduce this activity to once a week. So, my gym routine is Monday I lift weights, Wednesday I do my aerobics and Friday I walk for about twenty minutes on a short circular track at the gym on a carpet.

And, walking on a carpet instead of outdoors on asphalt makes lots of sense for when I fall and I will, it hurts less.  Interestingly, I did fall the other day doing my walk at the gym.  Two young guys came over to help me get up but I declined their help and was able to do it by myself which was important. But, it was embarrassing for me for it showed my vulnerability from being old which I am not pleased about.

Now, I am doing an hour of physical therapy with a therapist twice each week to strengthen my lower back and reduce the pain.  You know with a back without pain, I might get back to doing my walk in the park, but I think it is more than just pain so I know that will never happen for several reasons other than back pain.

The lower back pain and reduced mobility is a common malady of us old people. In a recent issue of the Discover magazine it has a page where it lists. ‘20 Things You Didn’t Know About’ something.  The March 2016 issue has the something ‘Your Back’.  And by far the majority of those 20 things were about our spine pathologies.  It notes that lower back pain is the most common backache to which I am sure we old people will agree.

Of course I find it most difficult to get down on my knees or bending over to pick up something.  Some of this of course has to do with my back problems but also simple physical mobility is significantly reduced.  I find myself at times walking like an old person taking unsure shorter steps. For years I thought of painting the inside of my garage.  Of course that would require some repair work on the cabinets and walls.  I could have done it last year, I think, but I would not even attempt it now.

Other changes I have found over these last four years includes my reduced thirst desires and less interest in foods for I am sure my tasting and olfactory senses are less keen. Re my water intake I have a large glass of water on the kitchen counter which I keep full just to remind me that when I see it I take a good drink.

Besides the maladies I have just listed, my balance has gone south.  Walking up and down stairs without holding onto the banister is difficult.  I always try to do it without holding onto it but my hand is just an inch above it just in case. I think challenging myself physically like that is important and slows this aging process down, but I am not sure. I know, I will not walk down stairs without a banister.

I am working on my poor balancing by standing on one leg.   Years ago it used to be easy but now I have a chair in front of me using my index finger resting on its back for much needed support for my balance.  I do that exercise once each day standing on each leg five times for 10 seconds each. It seems to be helping my balance for now I can do some of it without using my index finger.  I guess this is progress well at least my balance is not getting worse.

Even though my physical prowess has diminished at least my mind remains sharp and that is much more important than being able to walk long distances. And, I am still very capable at driving my car.  In fact, I am sure I am a better driver than when I was a young man.  At least, I do know I am much more careful. And, I continue to have excellent vision with minor correction with bifocal glasses.  I just had my eyes checked and some minor changes in my prescription. Leg reflexes are important here and mine are still quite good.

Of course it takes more time to clean my patio and make my bed but I still do it.  Yes, I make my bed every day.  I never fail to do so even years ago I didn’t really care and frequently I just didn’t take the time.  Now, it is very important that I make it each and every day for if I didn’t I would get a feeling that I am less capable because of old age.  And, I don’t want that feeling. Yes, I can and do make my bed every day!

Other daily chores includes cooking my meals which I still enjoy. My cooking includes making my own pie crust (some people have never learned how to do that) and cooking some fairly complex dishes. Since I live alone I probably throw out much of it because it is difficult to cook for just one person.

I just hosted our biweekly bridge game.  It was my turn and it went well, which included serving an upside down cake for dessert which I made. Of course moving furniture and putting up the card table, chairs, and small food tables required some physical effort which was accomplished without much effort.  Maybe that is the secret it didn’t take much physical effort. Hey, and I won the game…

Oh I suppose someday I will not make my bed or clean off my patio.  I will stop going to the gym; you know, give up. And, my ability to walk from my car to a store will be compromised. That day is coming for sure but at least I still have the desire and physical ability to put it off for I hope several years.  But an old person never knows what is just around that time corner.

On the Web News I recently read that Cindy Crawford (you know that famous model) just turned 50.  And, she noted that ‘age is just a number’.  Let’s see what she says when she reaches 80.  Let me see, that would make me 114 years old.  I can hardly wait.

Strangely I am complaining about living.  I guess this is a sign of being old.

P.S. I just got word from Amazon that I just sold another book, my e-novel Mary.  Wow… What I am suggesting here is that my readers should buy my book for it is a really really wonderful story.  Get on the Web and type in Mary by Russell Burton and there it is for sale at a very reasonable price.  And, I thank you.

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